My Ebenezer

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It started off with a haircut and then I went to help Brigitte get Barrett’s Christmas pictures taken. Who knew how much work it took to get a 3 month old to smile for a few pictures. I know we looked like complete fools dancing and singing and goo-gooing at him trying to get the little stinker to smile. It was all worth it, though, because his pictures are absolutely adorable!

I had Barrett with me in Foley’s when my cell phone rang and it was my case worker. That’s when she changed my whole day by telling me about the four-way for Goldilocks. It was so much fun – such an adreniline rush that I was actually shaking. I know you think i’m nuts and, well, I am. But that’s besides the point. I was just caught so off guard and was feeling giddy – I tried to call Daddy-O but he didn’t answer his phone so i left him a message and went off to look for Brigitte. I found her near the elevators and just blurted it all out – “we’re going to the four-way TOMORROW on the little girl.” After that, I just couldn’t think straight. I had to give Brigitte my receipt and card so she could exchange some jeans for me.

I know what some of you are probably thinking…..don’t get your hopes up in case this isn’t the one. I know that logically that would make sense. But there is nothing logical about a mother’s love and I already love my child. I just don’t know who that child is yet. I can’t stop myself from getting excited.

And if it isn’t Goldilocks, I’ll be just as giddy and excited next week when it’s time for Spiderman’s four-way. And if it’s not Spiderman, then we’ll be just as excited the next time. Our hearts will break with each child that is not ours, but they will also mend. In the end, it will be worth it.

You may be wondering what the process is after tomorrow. I’m not going to give you all the possible scenarios because God showed us last time that we just don’t know what will or could happen. I do know that God is in control and we’ll get the child(ren) He has for us.

If we are chosen for Goldilocks tomorrow, I’m not sure how long it will be before she is placed with us. The judge overseeing her case may want to read our homestudy or we may be able to begin visits right away. If I understand correctly, if the judge does need to read our homestudy before a placement is made, then I think we’ll still go to the four-way on Spiderman.

I did express to M, our case worker, today that we don’t want to be in a situation where we have to choose one over the other. We just can’t do that. Ofcourse, I want them both but I don’t think that’s an option since they aren’t siblings.

One way or another, our life will change tomorrow. We’ll be one step closer to our child, either to Goldilocks, Spiderman, or another child He has for us. Either way, tomorrow is one day closer.

Thank You, God. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. We want the child(ren) You have for us. Nothing less, nothing else and nothing more.

Brigitte is coming over tomorrow to try and keep my occupied while we wait. SO leave me lots of comments, questions, etc…. so we’ll be entertained.

Oh, and by the way, to the person who thinks I blog because I don’t have a life….I do have a life. It’s so interesting, I am inspired to share it with others! ha ha ha

WOW! Was I surprised to hear from my case worker today telling me that we are going to a four-way TOMORROW on Goldilocks. She also told me that Goldilocks is now 13 months old. So, TOMORROW, we find out if we have a daughter named Grace. You have to go and read that post, you’ll see why when you read it. My first ever post was about a child I called “Grace” and now we’re going to a four way on a child named Grace.

It’s all about God’s Grace……….

Edited to add….Sster asks what time. The meeting is at 1pm so please pray. Pray for all involved to make the best decision for this child.

Oops, I don’t know why the link isn’t working. Click it and then once it comes up with the error page, just click GO on web toolbar and it will work. Bizarre.

One week from today we may find out whether or not we are the parents to be of a 6 (now 7) month old baby boy. I hope there really is a meeting this time and I hope we really are chosen. HOnestly, I haven’t been thinking about it all that much, I’m thinking a lot more about New York City and how much fun we’ll have there.

When we get home, I’ll have less than 48 hours to wait for the four-way.

We still haven’t heard when the four-way for Goldilocks is scheduled for.

December 2003, mom and I went to New York City. We must have been the last plane to land at Newark airport that day because there a was a huge snow storm. We waited an hour to catch a train into the city where we stayed in a corporate apartment on Central Park South. On a day when most New Yorkers didn’t even venture out to go in to the office, mom and I wandered the streets throwing snow at each other. It was beautiful.

December 2004, Karen and I went to New York City for 4 whole days and stayed again in the corporate apartment. The weather was cold but we didn’t get the blizzard we got in 2003.

It did snow our last night while we were walking around in Little Italy and it was almost magical. Karen thought it was cold, I thought it was magical…ha ha ha

There’s just something about NYC in December. Seeing the tree in Rockefeller Center, watching the Rockettes, shopping on Fifth Avenue (window shopping that is), seeing the window displays in the big department stores. It just feels like Christmas in NYC.

I don’t know what the lure of big city life is, but it’s so appealing to me. The sounds, the sights, the smells…I can almost feel it as I remember the times I’ve spent there. I’ve been to NYC many times throughout the last few years on business trips and each time has been an adventure. Riding the subway, hailing a cab….things we just don’t get to do here in Houston. Although every visit to NYC has been fun, there’s just something about Christmas in New York that seems to bring the holidays to life.

So, December 2005…Karen, Brigitte and I are off to New York City for a weekend of shopping and living in luxury. (courtesy of frequent hotel points and frequent flyer points) I’m so excited I just can’t stand it. Weather forecast is calling for snow and I hope it falls the whole time we’re there.

It’s really a last minute trip that has finally come together – we leave this Friday early morning and will be back Sunday night late. We’re going to shop until we drop and I hope to come back with enough knockoff purses to last me through 2006. Look out NYC, here we come.

What does a redneck do when the remote control batteries die?

You tie a piece of yarn to the plug so that you can at least watch tv while you’re in bed. You won’t be able to change channels or adjust volume, but when you’re ready to go to sleep, you just give a good tug on the yarn and out comes the plug – which turns off the tv.

I wish I could take credit for this ingenius design, but the credit goes to Daddy-O. I’d make fun of it, but I was the one who used it. LOL

There are so many reasons I love my husband, I can’t begin to list them all here. He is absolutely the love of my life and I’ve no doubt that God created each of us for the other. He is the best friend I’ve ever had. Over the last five years, we’ve laughed until our stomachs hurt, we’ve cried until there were no more tears, we’ve prayed until our knees wore out and we’ve even thrown a few frying pans! So here’s to you, Daddy-O, on our fifth anniversary:

Top Ten Reasons I love you:

• Number Ten – You’re hot!
• Number Nine – You laugh louder than anyone else in the theater and you don’t care
• Number Eight – You’re good to your mother
• Number Seven – It never occurs to you to be embarrassed
• Number Six – You can fix anything around the house
• Number Five – You are going to be the best daddy
• Number Four – You’re slow to anger
• Number Three – You’re always “there” for me and anyone else who needs you
• Number Two – You believe in doing the right thing even when no one is looking
• And the number one reason I love you is because you love Christ first, with all your heart and all your strength and all your mind

UGH! I have to say that I am absolutely disguisted by reports of people being trampled trying to get into Wal Mart or other stores for discounted items. It sickens me to see video clips of people pushing and shoving so they get a head start on their holiday shopping – the holiday, the special day we set aside to honor the fact that Jesus Christ was born. Irony.

Anyway, if you watched your national news you very likely saw a clip of a store opening where people were trampled. The funniest thing I saw all day. I know, I know, it sounds horrible. I tried to find the clip so I could show you – if any of you find it online, please leave the link in the comments section. This lady gets knocked down and if you aren’t watching closely, it appears as though she is trying to pull herself together and get back on her feet. Getting back on her feet was not her top priority, however, putting her wig back on was.

Before you get mad at me for making fun of bald people, let me assure you this woman did not appear to be bald. With or without her wig. It just made me laugh because I was thinking, if I’m on the ground between the store entrance and one thousand crazy people trying to get in the store to buy something, I don’t think the first thing I’d be doing is reaching for my wig. Gives the saying, “A bad hair day” a whole new meaning.

Thanksgiving already? Is anyone else completely caught off guard by this? I know it comes the same time every year, but is it really Thanksgiving already? In the year 2005? How did this happen?

Sometimes I wake up and look around me and I wonder whose house I’m living in. I certainly don’t feel old enough to own a house (technically, the bank owns it). Am I really that “grown up”?

I’m almost afraid to sleep at night because I fear that when I wake in the morning, my children will be married with their own kids. You read that correctly, I said that I’m worried the children I don’t have yet will be grown with kids of their own when I wake up tomorrow. It’s just that times goes by so quickly.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the adoption and the impatience of waiting, but a few months isn’t long at all; not when you look at the whole picture. They’ll be here before I know it. And then they’ll be gone before I know it. Just like that. When did time start passing so quickly?

Anyway, Thanksgiving 2005. We’ll spend the first part of the day with Daddy-O’s side of the family and the second part with my side. Lots of good food and lots of little ones to play with. I think my nephew will be coming home with me for the night so his mom can shop on Friday. Woo Hoo!

So, I have two questions:
1)what traditions does your family have for Thanksgiving?
2)are you going shopping on Friday?

Me – absolutely no shopping. Hate going to the stores when they’re crowded. HATE IT. While you guys are out for hours fighting crowds and knocking down old ladies to save a few dollars, I’ll finish my shopping in an hour and have the gifts delivered to my front door already wrapped and everything. Can’t beat that.

You should go on over to Shawn’s new blog and check out the adorable pictures of her baby girl – she even has a place for her own fan mail.

I decided to go out and take advantage of some of the big sales today, you know, get a jump on my Christmas shopping? Well, I drive to the mall and park the mini van. I even get out and then I look around at all the cars and say to myself, “What are you thinking?” I HATE crowded stores. Plus, my back has been killing me so I got back in the van and left.

Fortunately, there is a Circuit City nearby so I stopped in there and bought myself two things. That’s generally how Christmas shopping goes for me….one for you, two for me…..ha ha ha. I did get my nephew something so that counts, right?

Anyway, you won’t find me anywhere near a store on Friday. Way too chaotic for me. I prefer to do my shopping online anyway.

Speaking of Friday, it is our fifth wedding anniversary. I’ll have to think of something special to do for Daddy-O. Hmmmm…maybe I’ll let him wash the mini van. ha ha ha

I’m pleased that the four-way for Spiderman has been rescheduled. I’d even say I’m cautiously optimistic about our chances, but not as much as I was before. I’m afraid to put my heart out there completely and try not to daydream too often about what he might look like or smell like. What his little laugh must sound like. I don’t imagine holding him in my arms and praying over him each night after putting him in his crib. I have more self control than that – I can keep myself from becoming too emotionally vested in this child I’ve never met.

It’s that girl in the mirror whose are eyes are overflowing with hope. She is soaring and dreaming and praying and wishing. She doesn’t care about guarding her heart; she just wants to love her child. She wants to start now just in case this one is THE one – she just doesn’t want to miss one minute of loving him.

I look at her and ask all the what if’s you can think of. “What if he isn’t for you? What if you aren’t chosen? What if his family is somewhere else?” And her response is always the same. “What if he IS?”

Jer 17:7-87 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,And whose hope is the LORD. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,Which spreads out its roots by the river,And will not fear when heat comes;But its leaf will be green,And will not be anxious in the year of drought,Nor will cease from yielding fruit.”NKJV

So it’s official. The adoption process has not only reaked havoc on our emotions, but it has also made me schizophrenic.

So Spiderman’s fate is decided on December 6 at 1pm. Either that, or the meeting to determine his fate will be postponed again. Let’s pray that Spiderman goes home (wherever that may be) before Christmas. While we’re at it, let’s pray for Goldilocks, too. Her four way has still not been scheduled and I’m afraid her case worker is over loaded and focusing on more pressing matters. Let’s pray that Goldilocks also goes home before Christmas.

"Samuel took a single rock and set it upright between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer (Rock of Help), saying, This marks the place where GOD helped us."

1 Samuel 7:12 The Message

Adoption

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