My Ebenezer

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It’s 1:30am and I just got home from Wal-Marting. Did you know that was a recreational activity in the South? definition: Wal-Marting: the act of going to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night and spending too much money on things you don’t want because it’s so late you’re delirious. (a favorite sport for college students everywhere) I realized tonight that I am no longer in college and not only does my body stop cooperating in public after midnight, but my mind also gives out on me.

Thanks to my favorite (insert self-given politically incorrect nickname here) friend for tagging along. You know who you are.

Thankfully, I got lots of good stocking stuffers and candy, some of that candy may even make it to the stockings. At mom’s house, we have a tradition of stuffing these enormous stockings with lots of goodies and lots of crapola. The adults don’t usually exchange big gifts (except with the parentals) but we contribute to one another’s stockings. It’s a lot of fun and I look forward to the stockings more than I do the gift exchanges most of the time.

As we spend what we hope is our last Christmast without children….and I really, really mean it this time..ha ha ha…..I can’t help but think about what traditions we want to start with our kids on Christmas morning. I’d like to find a unique way to invite Jesus to be part of the celebration but I’m not sure how to do that. Maybe reading the Christmas story before opening presents or something. I’m open for ideas here.

Here I go with the questions again. Use the comments to respond, you guys have been pretty quiet lately!

What, if anything, does your family do to really make sure Jesus is part of your Christmas?

What is the best gift you’ve ever given to another person?

What is the best gift you’ve ever received from another person?

What is your favorite Christmas tradition?

I’m speechless right now and that doesn’t happen very often. I’m at a loss for words because I’m so overwhelmed with God’s Grace.

Okay, ^ that was me being speechless. But I figure it doesn’t have the same affect when I’m writing. Anyway, there are so many people praying for Daddy-O and I and I’m constantly amazed when I hear of someone else. God knows our hearts, He knows our desires and sometimes it’s hard to keep going to Him with the same thing over and over again. I don’t worry when we can’t because I know you are beseeching Him on our behalf. Whoa…beseeching is a big word. Did I use it correctly? Grammar? You’ve been quiet for a while? I need you now.

Sometimes I can literally feel your prayers. I know you are praying because I can see the evidence of it in my heart. I just feel it and I’m not sure it is something I can explain. So thank you. EAch and every one of you, from the depths of our hearts, thank you. We pray that God will pour out His richest blessings on you this Christmas.

I got to help out with a luncheon yesterday that was put together for several foster moms from our agency. It was amazing to hear their stories and see how God is blessing them as they bless the little ones who need a place to call home. These women LOVE these kids. Even if it is only for a short time, they LOVE them as though they were their own. I can’t imagine how hard it would be for a child to be away from his/her family at Christmas. REgardless of the situation at home, those kids will be sad. Say a special prayer for them today, please.

Oh, and one last thing in this hodge podge of a post, I will be posting pictures of the most beautiful pink Christmas tree very soon. IT’s not actually pink (unfortunately) but the decorations are all pink!

I am losing my mind. This is Thankful THursday and what I meant to point out earlier when I was rambling about how wonderful you all are…..

I am most thankful today for you. For all of you pray for us, who are following our story and who just care. We are grateful for you and we appreciate you. God is working in our lives and He is far from finished. It’s not about us but it is ALL about Him and His plan and His purpose. Thanks for sharing in our journey. We heart you!

We’re supposed to get our Christmas tree tomorrow night. Since neither of us is really into decorating this year, I have an idea it will look more like a Christmas bush but that’s okay with me. I’ll get the lights down and put them on the tree but I don’t think I’ll even get the decorations out because, well….I’m just lazy.

You see, Daddy-O and I both suffer from the disease. It’s called can’t-get-my-butt-off-the-couch-to-do-anything-itis. For short, we call it why-do-today-what-you-can-do-tomorrow-itis. We know that whatever we put up today will have to be taken down one day, relatively soon after Christmas. Unless we want to turn into that house that just leaves Christmas up all year round.

Uh Oh. I just remembered something. We do have ONE Christmas decoration out already, sitting in the window in our kitchen. It is a snowman that is about the size of a wine bottle – in fact, it could be used to “wrap” a wine bottle, it’s wooden and very cute. Daddy-O’s mom gave it to us for Christmas and it has been sitting in our kitchen since then. Last year, I think. Crap. It may have been the year before.

This is why we don’t decorate for Christmas. If we put lights on our house, we’d be the neighbors everyone talked about because they keep their lights on all year round. I mean, why take them down if you’re just going to put them back up about 240 days later? Not to worry, when we have kids that are old enough to “get it”, we’ll go all out. We’ll have the biggest Christmas tree, the most obnoxious lights and we’ll be the last ones to take it all down every year.

Anyway, back to the Christmas tree we’re getting tomorrow night. I decided I wanted a tree this year because I found hot pink wrapping paper at Target and I can’t wait to wrap all the presents and put them under the tree! If I can find some cheap pink colored glass balls, I may just decorate the tree afterall.

Some of you may not know about my obsession with the color Pink. I love all things pink. The brighter the pink, the better. I’m not into the Pepto pink – I prefer hot pink and if it’s fuzzy, it’s even better. I don’t know when this happened to me. I used to be obsessed with the color yellow – bright yellow. THen one day I woke up and it was pink. And now I’m writing about it which makes me wonder if I need to see a shrink.

I was tagged by Travis so now I get to list seven things on seven things:

Seven things to do before I die:

1. Have a child(ren) to call our own
2. Watch that child(ren) grow in Christ
3. See the Grand Canyon
4. Write a Bible Study
5. Write a book
6. Foster/adopt an older (teen) child
7. Get skinny again!

Seven things I can not (or will not) do:

1. Lose my faith in Christ
2. Sky dive
3. Get on one of those tunnel like water slides
4. Use credit cards
5. Sing well
6. Model men’s underwear
7. smoke crack

Seven things that attract me to my spouse:

1. He loves Jesus
2. He puts others first
3. He loves his family
4. He’s funny
5. He listens well
6. He doesn’t care what people think
7. He’s hot!

Seven things I say most often:

1. “What’cha doin’?”
2. “That’s amazing”
3. “That’s crazy”
4. “Helloh-oooo”
5. “okay”
6. “um”
7. “we’re getting close…could be any day now…we’ll let you know” *wink

Seven books (or series) I love:

1. The Bible
2. Almost anything by Nora Roberts
3. “Odd Thomas” by Dean Koontz
4. “Daughter of Fortune” by Isabell Allende
5. “I know this much is true” by Wally Lamb
6. “We were the Mulvaneys” (i think that was the last name)
7. “Johnny Angel” by Danielle Steel

Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would if I had the time):

1. When Harry met Sally
2. Where the Heart Is
3. Hope Floats
4. A Cinderella Story
5. Mona Lisa Smiles
6. Savannah Smiles
7. Diary of a Mad Black Woman

Seven people I want to join in too:

1. Karen
2. Brigitte
3. Shawn
4. Jeremy
5. JettyBetty
6. Stacy
7. Sster

So last night I had a hot date with the cutest little boy! Brigitte let me keep Barrett for the whole night and he was so much fun. Daddy-O and I went out to eat with him and this little old lady and her husband stopped by our table as they were leaving and asked if he (Barrett) was that good at home, too. Ofcourse he is, we said….ha ha ha Then she said that he sure was a handsome little fellow and that he must take after his parents. I laughed and said that we sure thought he did! Ha!

Part of me was kinda hoping that Barrett would be really fussy and wake up a lot during the night so that I wouldn’t be in so much of a hurry to get our own little one. No such luck. Barrett is a perfect baby! He went to sleep about 9pm, woke up around midnight for a quick diaper change and then went right back to sleep until 8 this morning! Who could ask for more?

And his little smile is so irresistable, don’t you think?

Even though I know we won’t be getting our child(ren) before Christmas, I still wonder many times throughout the day if the phone might ring….. In fact, every time the phone rings I imagine it is M calling to tell me that we’ve been selected for …….etc… I feel like a 15 year old with her first serious crush, just waiting for him to call… ha ha ha

I know, I need to get out more. Getting selected for a four way and then not getting chosen feels kinda like a 16 year old pimple-faced, overweight boy/girl trying to get a date for the prom. The rejection is brutal, regardless of the reason. And for both Goldilocks and Spiderman, there were good reasons. With Goldilocks, there was a family who already knew her and spent time with her and that was a much better choice for that child. With Spiderman, M (our case worker) said that it was only us and one other family being considered. (so not only did we LOSE, but we lost when we had a 50/50 chance of winning…….I HATE losing) Anyway, in that situation, the other family was working directly with CPS – M said she knew their mind was made up before she even walked in the door.

The caseworker for Spiderman did express some concern about us..about me specifically. (thank you very much) I have a problem with one of the discs in my lower back – nothing major but in my home study it says that I can lift “up to twenty pounds”. The other worker was “afraid I may not be able to lift the child if I was home alone with him.” WHATEVER! M was so ticked off about this because it isn’t at all what was meant in the homestudy. We got my doctor to write a letter explaining the nature of the problem and stating that it in NO way limits my day to day activities in caring for myself or my children. So that shouldn’t ever come up again. Bleh.

The good news is that all of these little things are just things God is using to get us to the child He has for us. I believe that with all my heart.

Now that I have already started a novel with this post, I may as well keep going, right? The title is “Whew” because when Friday evening rolls around I know I have two whole days to relax and not worry about whether or not my phone will ring. CPS is pretty much shut down on the weekends so I won’t be getting any calls. I know the Bible says, “Do not worry about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition submit your requests to God.” I’m working on that, really, I am.

I am still a work in progress, afterall.

My wonderful redneck husband is not a fan of cold weather. Today, it was in the upper 20’s and lower 30’s all day and Daddy-O works outside quite a bit – you have to understand that this weather is not at all typical for Houston, not even in December. We get a few days in a row of this and then won’t see it again for a few weeks. In fact, I can remember several Christmases where I went outside in my shorts to play!

Although this is probably more than you want to know, it’s an important part of the story. Daddy-O always strips down to his skivies in the living room. (God bless our neighbors who might happen by our house and catch a glimpse of the sexiest potbellied redneck alive – since we have a WINDOW in our front door) Anyway, as he’s sitting on the couch in his jeans and his t-shirt over his turtle neck (I never claimed he had fashion sense) he decides it’s time for his shower and then bed. He stands up and takes off his t-shirt, then he takes off the turtle neck and I started giggling. Because underneath the turtleneck was ANOTHER turtle neck and I could see the hem of another tshirt below that! So he went to work today in FOUR shirts plus his jacket. And I wonder why we have so much laundry in the winter.

When I woke up this morning, I had barely started my Christmas shopping. Only two things from my list were purchased and now, just a couple of hours later, I’m almost finished! Thank you, God, for online shopping and free shipping!

Well, not really on 34th street….but on OUR street. One day our miracle will come. It would take a MIRACLE for it to happen before Christmas, what is it? 18 more days or something like that? “The System” just doesn’t work that fast. BUt I know that when we do get our miracle, we won’t even remember the pain of waiting.

It’s kinda like childbirth. I’ve heard a lot of women say that they just don’t remember how painful the birth really was. I guess you could say we’re in labor right now. ha ha

Anyway, although the two boys we were submitted on have already been placed (okay, so sometimes the system does move quickly), we’re still holding on to Hope. I know Hope is not a super hero’s name and I know I’m not supposed to name them until we are selected for the four way. But, it’s Christmas and right now Hope is all we have. Both in Christ and in this opportunity He has given us. So we’ll hold on to Hope through the holidays and perhaps be able to start the new year with a new family.

Hope is a 6 month old baby girl. I’ll let you know when we hear whether or not we’ve been chosen to go to the four-way.

While you’re here, go ahead and pray for the two boys who have been placed. Pray for a smoothe transition for them.

So this morning I returned all of the crib bedding my mom bought. Ya, that pretty much was the low point of my morning. I HATED taking it back. But I only have 90 days to return it after the purchase date and time was running short. Now we’ll just wait until we find out if we’re getting a boy or a girl or both and then buy the appropriate bedding.

Thanks for your emails, phone calls, comments and text messages of prayer and support. It means the world to me. God’s Grace is amazing – it is because of Him that our hearts continue on this journey. It isn’t our faith, or anything else about us that is spectacular – it’s ALL about HIM. God’s love for us is so much bigger than we could ever imagine.

He knows our hearts will break long before it happens and I believe that His breaks right along with ours. Before the four-way yesterday, God presented another opportunity of hope. Our homestudy being submitted on two boys (siblings). It gave me something to hang on to when we lost Spiderman.

This morning, God gave us another opportunity of hope. A baby girl our homestudy will be submitted on.

As I sulk about another Christmas without children, I can’t help but think of the many kids – older kids – in the foster care system. They are spending another Christmas without a forever family because so few are willing to embrace them into their families. Please lift those kids up in prayer today. And pray for the people working so hard to find them families. Pray for more families to step up and adopt them. I hope one day Daddy-O and I will adopt older kids. I have such a special place in my heart for teenagers, especially at risk teens. I know that now is the time for us, but I do think it will come one day. Maybe by then I’ll have convinced Daddy-O. ha ha ha

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 says, “Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Do you know how much God loves you? Do you long to feel that peace that surpasses all understanding? Do you know what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? He wants so much to give it to you.

"Samuel took a single rock and set it upright between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer (Rock of Help), saying, This marks the place where GOD helped us."

1 Samuel 7:12 The Message

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