My Ebenezer

There aren’t details we can share from today’s meeting - just that it continues to “look good” for us. Everything was fine. Thank you for your prayers.

I’m considering taking this site offline for a while. For privacy reasons, I just want to make sure we aren’t “found” by the birthfamily in this situation. Anyway, one thing I may do is create another site that will be password protected - I know that is a pain, but if you want the address and password, email me and I’ll be sure to get it to you. I’m probably being a bit overprotective, but I want my kids safe. I stupidly said something about a blog where they could overhear me and I have no idea if they are computer literate, but it’s just not a risk I’m willing to take. So, ya, I’m going to move to a password protected site. Let me know if you want to come along!

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Yesterday I took Speedy to church with me. I had no idea how he would do in Sunday School (the nursery) but I carried him to the door and he could see all the kids and toys inside. When I put him down to fill out paperwork, he was trying to open the door and get in. He walked right in and never looked back. I was glad he wasn’t upset, but I have to admit I was also a little disappointed that it didn’t seem like he would miss me at all!
When I went to pick him up, he was standing near the door and watching it intensely. When he saw me, he ran to me with his arms up! So much for not missing me. I almost cried right there in the hallway and I’m sure people would have thought I’m nuts. Afterall, he IS almost two, they must think that surely I’ve left him in the nursery before. If only they knew.

Anyway, the worker said that he did fine but after about 10 minutes of playing he suddenly realized that I wasn’t there and started asking for mommy. But he didn’t get upset and cry so I’m glad for that. Anyway, he’s so stinkin’ cute!

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I love giving Princess her baths and she enjoys them too! It’s probably not wise for me to strip her down at the changing table and then carry her bare bottom all the way to the kitchen where her bath chair is, but her little bum is so adorable! And she wouldn’t dare pee on me. Or worse. Or would she?

She has peed while I was giving her a bath before but that wasn’t such a big deal. Today, I finished her bath and wrapped her up in a cute hooded towel. She’s always so happy at this point and looks so darn cute! I was cuddling her to me when all of the sudden my hand (the one that was under her bum) got really warm. I pulled her away from me to realize she’d just peed all over my hand and shirt. Thankfully, there was nothing else coming out of her. She had the sweetest, most innocent look on her face the whole time. But I think she secretly did it on purpose since I had woken her up from a nap.
Speedy cracks me up with his “peas” (please) and “tank-you”’s. He was supposed to be laying down for a nap but after 30 minutes I could still hear him talking and playing in his crib. I opened his door and said in a very stern voice, “Speedy, lay down - it’s time to go night-night, no more standing up. Lay down and close your eyes and go to sleep!” He layed down, covered up and looked at me with the sweetest little eyes and said, “tank you”. I closed the door before I cracked up laughing.

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Thank you for praying faithfully for us yesterday as we went to our first visit. I know God was with us and after a little initial nervousness, I was completely relaxed. We got to meet birthmom and birthdad, maternal grandmother and paternal grandparents. All went very well.

For privacy reasons, I can’t really say much about the visit or the people involved. I will tell you that we feel even better at our chances for adoption based on this visit. The best news is that I got pictures of everyone so I will have them for the kids.

The next big step is a meeting on Tuesday that will give us even more of an idea as to what will happen. So, if I could continue to beg for your prayers, please pray for the meeting this Tuesday at 1pm. Pray for everyone involved - that we will all seek what is best for these precious babies. We are a little apprehensive about this meeting - right now the birthfamily doesn’t seem to realize the severity of this situation but I believe that will be made clear at this meeting.

I’ll keep you posted as much as I can. Just know that Speedy and Princess are fine - there was really no response at all to the visit from them. Speedy continues to be his hilarious and fun-loving self and Princess is growing by the minute. I can’t wait until I can really share pictures of them - they are so beautiful! And so much fun!

I heard Daddy-O talking to Princess last night: “Hi little Princess…..you know, mommy used to be the princess before you came along. Now she’s the Queen and you’re our little Princess.”

Also, when Daddy-O came home from work on Thursday, I brought Speedy outside and I said, “go give daddy a big hug and a kiss”! He ran squealing to Daddy-O and jumped up into his arms. I don’t know who was smiling more, Daddy-O or Speedy.

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Tomorrow we have our first visit with Speedy and Princess’ mother. We’re excited and nervous and mostly just curious. Pray that God will open our hearts to her and help us share His love by meeting her without judgement. Pray that Speedy will be okay with the visit. Pray that we focus on what is best for the kids and not on how we may be feeling.

We are praying for a positive relationship with their mother. There are so many things we are asking God for, it feels like we are asking for the impossible - for one miracle after another. In Matthew 19:26, Jesus says, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible .”NKJV We are claiming that truth as we seek what is best for Speedy and Princess.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

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We’re trying to teach Speedy to say grace before he eats his meals. I’ll say, okay Speedy, it’s time to pray….let’s thank Jesus for our food before we eat. And he’ll put his hands together and say “pway”. He babbles a word or two as we go through the “God is good …. God is great” and then he knows right when to say “ahhh MEN” and he throws his little hands in the air. Sometimes half way through the meal, he stops and says again “pway” as he puts his hands together. It’s so sweet!

We’re also learning some songs. I always sing “Jesus Loves Me” to him as I rock him to sleep, but his favorite is definitely “Old McDonald had a Farm”. The only part he sings is “E I E I O” but it comes out as “EEEEE I EEE I EEIIIIIII OOOOOO”! When I was giving him a bath today, I was singing Jesus Loves Me and he was watching me intently. Instead of singing, “yes, Jesus loves me….” I always sing, “Speedy, Jesus loves you….” and when I took a breath he chimed in with “EEEEE I EEEE III EEEEIIIIII OOOO” I guess Old McDonald had Jesus on his farm, too!

Daddy-O and I take turns with Princess - he takes a night then I take a night and so on and so forth. If it is my night to be up with her, then he’ll stay awake and feed her at 1opm before putting her back to sleep. Last night, I came in from bible study and he was in the lazy boy with Princess on his chest. I said, “hey, you’re supposed to be keeping her awake so she’ll sleep better tonight….” he swore she had “just fallen asleep”. Then we had this conversation:

Daddy-O: This is the best sleep there is (as he’s holding her on his chest and resting his own eyes)
Me: It’s so sweet to watch you with her, you’ve never been very interested in little babies and she is so tiny in your big hands
Daddy-O: I have to get all of this I can….it won’t be long before she won’t just lay her and snuggle on daddy’s chest anymore…
Me: Ya, that’s sweet, you should sleep like that all night so I can get some rest, she’ll never sleep good in the bassinet after leaving your chest
Daddy-O: Where should I put her down now? The bed is in our room so I wouldn’t know where to put her down.
Me: You can put a blanket on the floor and lay her down there
Princess: Waaaaa Waaaaa grunt snort fusss fuss fuss
Daddy-O: Oh baby girl, it’s okay. Daddy’s not really going to put you down.

Geez. She’s just a month old and already has daddy wrapped around her little finger! ha ha ha

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As I sit here surfing the internet with Princess strapped to my chest and her pacifier in my mouth (the handle only), I realize that my life has officially changed. Not that I didn’t realize it before, I think I keep having these realizations. Like today on the toilet.

I guess you realize when you have kids that is just isn’t about you anymore. Maybe it never was.

I can’t remember if I blogged about this or not and I’m too lazy to look it up so here goes. People keep asking about SPeedy and Princess and about their history and birthfamilies. Everyone wants to know what the situation is and whether or not we’ll get to keep them forever. The honest answer is we just don’t know. We know a little about their history but we aren’t sharing that everyone. It’s their story to tell when and if they choose. We are sure we’ll get to keep them forever. We think we will. The chances are good that we will. But we aren’t sure.

We are praying for God’s perfect will. We are trusting Jeremiah 29:11, where we are told, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’” God has brought us a long way on this journey - He is not going to leave us now. His faithfulness has been so incredibly evident every step of the way. We don’t know what is going to happen next month. But we trust that God has it all in the palm of His mighty hand.

There is a court hearing at the end of March that will determine a lot. We’ll know more then and we’ll share what we can. Most of all, we hope you will join us in praying for what is best for these kids. It would be so easy for me to ask you to beg God on our behalf to let us keep these babies. I’ve done so many times already myself. We want them like we’ve never before wanted anything. But it’s not about us, it’s about them and it’s about Him. We are praying for what is best for these children. We are also praying for their birthparents. Whatever happens, God will give us what we need to get through it.

We believe these kids are our forever kids. I feel it in my bones. I pray I’m right about that. We are loving them as though they have always been ours.

Another thing people ask about is visits with the birthmother/father. When children are in foster care, they typically get weekly or every other week supervised visits with birthparents. So far, we haven’t heard anything about visits but we do expect them to happen. The selfish part of me wants to hope that they don’t happen, but again, it isn’t about me anymore. I do hope they have at least one visit and I hope I have the opportunity to meet their birthmom. I want to be able to tell them one day what color her eyes are or that they have her smile.

I’d love to get a picture of her with them. One day they will want to know and I want to have answers.

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When you have a two year old and a newborn in the house, you no longer get any time to yourself - for ANYTHING. Since Speedy occasionally likes to “visit” his baby sister, we have to keep a close eye on where he is at all times.

This morning, Princess was sleeping and I had to go to the bathroom. Okay, I had to poop. So Speedy had to come with me. I locked the poor kid in the bathroom with me and he wanted to brush his teeth. So I figure this is a good distraction…..until he decided it was MY turn to brush his teeth. Brushing someone else’s teeth while you are pooping is not my idea of a good time. I tried distracting him and found the only thing that would work was singing, “The wheels on the bus go round and round…” all the while I’m pooping.

Life is never gonna be the same again, is it?

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It’s a good thing Speedy is on the ball with all this parenting stuff. Tonight, Daddy-O was taking him to our bedroom where we rock him for a little while before putting him down for bed. Speedy runs into the bathroom, gets on his little step stool and points to his toothbrush. “Teeth?” he says. Thanks for the reminder, Speedy. We know you need to brush your teeth and one day we’ll remember to remind you instead of the other way around!

Is there anything sweeter than hearing your husband sing to your child as he rocks him to sleep? My heart just bubbles over when I see Daddy-O loving on Speedy. Daddy-O has been just wonderful - more than just helping out, he’s doing half the work when he isn’t at work. We take turns putting Speedy to bed each night, mostly because we both WANT to do it and it’s our way of sharing. We also take turns getting up with Princess. Tonight is his night - WOO HOO!

I’m just amazed at how much both Speedy and Princess have grown already. I swear they get bigger every day. I wish I could post a picture of them both for everyone to see, but I’ll have to wait on that.

Thanks so much for all of your kind words and prayers and encouragement. I haven’t had much time to peruse blogs but I will catch up soon!

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Baby Einstein is my new hero. Praise God! I have gotten Speedy to watch it but he calls it “wow”. I was watching it and trying to get his attention so I kept saying, “WOW” and then he came in the den and looked at it and said, “Woooow”. Now when he eats breakfast, i put his highchair in front of the tv. We also watch it before bedtime. I only have one of the dvds but I plan to buy them all. Thank you, Jesus, for Baby Einstein!

I know there are people who would say I shouldn’t “teach” him to watch TV that it’s better if he doesn’t blah blah blah blah blah. Frankly, I don’t give a hoot! Mommy needs a break sometimes!

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