My Ebenezer

Speedy is feeling better, as I write he is in his bed for "naptime" - but he is taking a very LOUD nap. The more tired he is, the louder he talks to keep himself awake. I'm hoping he's going to crash here before long, he never did sleep yesterday.
He did great at the doctor's yesterday and only cried when he had to have a strep test. (it was negative) He got some antibiotics and a prescription for the runny nose and sore throat. The pharmacist told me that one of the prescriptions might make him very sleepy and I said, "WOO HOO!" But then he said, "Wait, you didn't let me finish. It could also make him not sleep good at all - since you celebrated, I can tell you which way this going for you," as he gave me an evil grin. He was right. If the meds make most kid sleepy, it makes Speedy speedier.

Last night, I put him to bed at 6pm since he didn't have his nap and was obviously very tired. (his normal bedtime is 7pm) I rocked him to sleep but he woke up around 8:30 and wasn't crying, but was kinda fussing and moaning some. I felt so bad for him. I finally got him out of bed and let him sit with us in the den. He was so tired he could hardly walk straight and he kept scratching his throat. He kept asking for what sounded like "pockle" but I couldn't figure out what he wanted. FINALLY, I got it. He was saying popsicle. What would most moms do at 9pm when their two year old is supposed to be sleeping? Frankly, I don't care what most would do. I gave my sweet boy a popsicle. His throat was hurting and it was fruit flavored…..

But that's okay, because for lunch today I gave him fruit again. A strawberry shake. He's just not eating very well with his throat hurting so I figure ice cream is as good as it gets. He kept taking a sip and then saying, "ummmmeeeeee".

On another note, Princess had to get FIVE FRIGGIN' shots today. She got so mad she started turning red and finally hit a shade of purple before we could get her to breathe again. Poor little princess. I just fed her and she is still pretty unhappy but now she's asleep and hopefully she'll stay that way for a while.

Tomorrow is Speedy's birthday party so I really hope he sleeps well tonight and is feeling better tomorrow. We got him an Elmo pinata (sp?) and it is HUGE. I think the all the kids will enjoy beating it, i just hope Speedy doesn't get upset when we start abusing Elmo.

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Speedy had a runny nose last night and didn't sleep much at all. I couldn't get him to sleep for his nap today and his nose kept getting worse. This evening, he ran fever. Our first sickness. Poor baby, he felt so bad he just cried while Daddy rocked him - cried and cried and cried. We gave him medicine for the fever and the runny nose and tomorrow he'll go to the doctor. I know he has a history of ear infections, so I'm wondering if that's what is at the root of this.

He's asleep now, but I have a feeling it's going to be a long night.

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Today is your second birthday and we are so honored to be able to celebrate with you.

You came into our lives almost two months ago and turned our world upside down. I remember the very first moment I laid eyes on you - your blonde hair and big blue eyes melted my heart immediately. Even then, when you were in a strange place, you were so busy and full of energy.

Your little life has changed so much in the last few months. I wish that you would have been brought straight to us after being removed from your first home, but you spent time in at least two other foster homes. Those foster parents said that you were "alot to handle" but we know the truth. You were just acting out until you found your way to us and we are so glad that you did.

You took to us immediately and were calling us "mommy" and "daddy" in the first week you were with us. You came with a love of Elmo, balls, bubbles and all things puppy. We watched you in awe those first few days and continue to do so now - we just can't believe how blessed we are to have you. One of the funniest things you did when you first got here was what we called your "happy dance". You would get excited about something and then march in place real fast while waving your arms and shaking your head side to side. It looked like you had too much energy to know what do with!

Your smile brightens my day every time I see it. In fact, just writing about it makes me smile. You are a happy child, despite circumstances that would make most children feel unsettled. Your laughter has filled our home with so much life and you have filled our hearts with so much joy.

Another big event for you in the past couple of months is the arrival of your baby sister. You weren't too sure about her at first, but now you really like to cover her with a blanket, help me feed her and put her pacifier back in her mouth. You call her "sissy" and worry when you hear her crying.

Your second birthday is a milestone for you and for us. We grieve the first two years of your life that we did not know you, but we are so happy that you are home now. We've been praying for you for a year now and we can see God's hand in your life and on your heart.

Speedy, we love you with all our hearts.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

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When we go to Target, which is almost daily, Speedy gets very excited when an announcement is made over the loudspeaker. He feels that whoever this person is, he/she must be talking only to him and so of course, Speedy replies. In his LOUDEST voice, he says, "Dah bluh blah blah bluh blah…." which is what it must sound like to him. It cracks me up every time. He goes on and on for at least five minutes "talking" to the loud voice.

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On the rare mornings when I awake before Speedy, I find myself eagerly waiting for him to wake up. I can't wait to pick him up out of his crib and hold him in my arms - he's always so sweet and cuddly in the morning or after nap. At a time when I could be getting some things done, I end up going into his room several times to watch him sleep. To see if he's starting to stir and maybe getting ready to wake up so I can hold him and feed him breakfast and play with him.

Today, when I was waiting for him to wake up from his nap, I got to wondering if that's how God looks at us. Does He look down and wait for us to "wake up" so He can love on us and "feed" us? I'm sure He does. I know He is even more eager for the times we come to Him - to read His word, to sing praises, to spiritually "cuddle" with our Father. And when we are too tired or too busy for God, I know He does the same thing I do for Speedy when I walk into his room and cover him up with his blanket to make sure he's warm through the night.

Having children sure makes me have a greater appreciation for God's love for us. We are His children, afterall.

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The hardest thing for me to do is to pray for Speedy and Princess’s bio parents. I pray that God protects Speedy and Princess’s future; that He brings people into their lives to teach them about His love; that He guards their hearts and minds; and that He keeps them with us forever. In the same breath, I try to pray for bio mom and bio dad.

It is so hard to be sincere when I ask God to bless them. When I ask God to help them turn their lives around. Half the time, I end up praying that God would give me a sincere heart and help me to really mean it when I ask Him to help them. But what does it mean to be a Christian? Am I able to live what I believe, even when it scares me to death? Even when it could mean that my heart gets crushed?

God’s grace is available to everyone. Aren’t we called to pray for unbelievers? Should bio mom and bio dad be excluded from that so that I can get what I want? I don’t think that’s what Jesus had in mind. But I gotta tell you, it’s hard. It’s hard to ask God to help them turn their lives around because if they turn their lives around, mine could be turned upside down. It’s hard to pray that they learn of God’s love and begin to believe in His saving power. If they start believing, then they might start making better choices, living better and become capable of taking care of Speedy and Princess.

And that scares me to death. But still I pray because it’s the only thing I know to do. Because it’s what I believe and I can’t keep talking about what I believe if I’m not willing to live it. God knows my heart. He knows how much we want to keep Speedy and Princess. But He also knows that we want what is best for them. We want His will for Speedy and Princess, even if that means they don’t become our forever children. We’ve prayed for His will for us throughout this process and now we have to trust God with our hearts - our Speedy and our Princess - and pray for His will for their lives as well.

I wondered before we got kids how having them would affect my relationship with God. It has taught me a lot about God’s love for me, but it has also taught me how much harder it can be to really trust God when you have kids. I mean, it’s one thing for me to believe God for my own life…..but can I trust Him with my kids? I can. I will. I have to.

Afterall, Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you [Speedy and Princess],’ says the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’”

Your will, Lord. Not mine. No matter what.

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This is gross so if you are easily disguisted, stop reading now.

Carrots are not a good thing to feed Speedy two days in a row. Especially if he eats lots of them because he REALLY loves them. Let’s just say that carrots can be identified in a diaper. And orange is not a good color for poo. And sticky poo that is hard to wipe off is just plain nasty. And orange sticky poo that leaks out the sides of a diaper just isn’t right.

Reason why I should get the “mother of the year” award instead of Brigitte:

Murphy’s law says that if you have a two year old and a 2 month old in a double stroller and you are walking through the mall about lunch time, you will almost certainly have to go poop. And if you find a handicapped stall that is just barely long enough for your double stroller to fit in, then your two year old will probably be in your face while you are going poop. And if, in an effort to distract him from playing with the nasty feminine disposal trash can, you give him toilet paper because he keeps looking at it with interest, you should be warned that if he is close enough to your backside, he just might try to mimic what you are doing with the toilet paper. And he might be very quick. And you might think it is disguisting, but so freakin funny that you can’t help but blog about it. Then everyone else will think you are disguisting too.

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Thank you again for all of your prayers for yesterday. I was really nervous about going but it all turned out just fine.

Family court is a sad place to spend the morning. I saw several cases go before the judge, many where bio parents didn’t even show up. Often, no one even knew where to locate the bio parents. The saddest thing I watched was a woman who stood before the judge and was told that after two years of not seeing her children, she still could not see them and a TPR (termination of parental rights) date was set.

She walked back to her seat sobbing as she explained to her friend what the judge had said. My heart broke for her and for her children. I am sure there is a very good reason why she can’t see her kids; based on a little of what I heard, I am confident that “the system” served those kids well yesterday. But it was still sad. Unbelievably sad.

There is a whole other part of our society that most of us don’t even know exists. Or we pretend it doesn’t. There is a post here and one day I’ll write it, but today I want to tell you about our case.

Toolman got to meet the court appointed attorney for the kids in the hallway. He introduced himself to her and she immediately asked how they were doing. Her second question to toolman was, “are you a legal risk home?” Daddy-O told her that we were but we realize that right now this is straight foster care. She said, “yes, but are you looking to adopt?” And he told her we would LOVE to adopt these kids, if they flip for adoption. She smiled and said good.

I don’t know if all attorneys ask that question immediately or not. But I’m believing that she doesn’t expect these kids to go back to their bio parents, just like all the caseworkers don’t expect it to happen. Woo Hoo!

The judge blessed the plan, talked about how important it was to start some of the steps immediately and set the next court date for late July. So we know we have them until then. There is a long list of things that must be done in order for them to even have a chance at getting their kids back. It’s going to be tough for them to do and I feel horrible hoping that they can’t or won’t do it; but I love these kids.

All in all, it still looks very good for adoption. The judge left the primary goal as adoption and that is a big deal.

We’re pleased. The bio parents are angry/upset that Speedy calls us mommy and daddy - I explained again that this is what we’ve been told to do. That kids his age need to call someone mommy and daddy on a regular basis. I think things are going to start getting ugly.

Please pray for Speedy. It is him I am most worried about. Pray that he is not upset by visits and that he continues to feel safe, secure and loved in our home. I’m afraid of what bio parents may start saying to him at these visits. I am trusting God to intervene in a HUGE way.

Speaking of Speedy, his cartoon time is running out and I think he’s finished his milk so I better go see what he’s up to.

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Not much happened at court today. We did not get put on a fast track, but we knew that was highly unlikely.

Birthparents have a long laundry list of items they must complete and we go to court again at the end of July. It was interesting and I’ll tell more about it but I don’t have time to write it all now. All is well. Thank you for your prayers.

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Okay, tomorrow is our first court hearing. It is the second for the family, but our first to attend and we are NERVOUS! We are praying that Speedy and Princess are put on a “fast track” - please pray that with us. We aren’t sure what time our case will be called, it could be 10am or 2pm or anywhere in between. So, we’ll be sitting at the courthouse with the birthfamily for that entire time.

It’s a long shot that they will be fasttracked but we are asking for it anyway. Remember, with God all things are possible.

We are still praying that bio mom and bio dad will voluntarily give up their rights. We really are asking a lot, aren’t we?
Please pray with us for Speedy and Princess to be put on a fast track. Please also pray for Toolman and I - that we would be bold and courageous and speak the truth, even when it might fall on deaf ears. Pray that we will continue to be the hands and feet of Christ, not just to Speedy and Princess, but also to their birthfamily.

We’ll let you know how it goes.

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