Still here
Apr 30th 2006CindyUnCategorized
Yes, yes, I know. Updates aren't as frequent because they've just gotten a little boring lately. I can't write about every funny thing Speedy does or I'd be here writing instead of enjoying him all day long. 
It still amazes me how much our lives have changed in so short a period of time. I never knew I could love like this. It's just so different from anything else and I guess you can't understand it until you are in the middle of it.
People continue to ask us about the future and about whether or not we'll get to "keep" Speedy and Princess. It is a constant reminder that there is a possibility that we could lose them. Sometimes I wish people would just quit asking me. I mean, if I know something new I promise I'll tell you. I guess I just get frustrated at constantly having to explain it. 
People may as well just say to me, "Hey, those aren't REALLY your kids, remember?" LOL, thanks for THAT reminder!
God has given us a peace about the situation. We trust that He is in control and He is going to provide, as He always has. I'd be lying if I told you I didn't have my moments of panic - when I watch my babies sleeping, when I hold them close and smell the tops of their heads. Mainly though, the time that I am most likely to have doubts is when people ask me about it. I know that's wierd, but it's how it works for me. I find myself trying to explain it away when all I really want to do is say, "we're trusting God and you should too." But that's kinda harsh.
Parenting is different than we expected. More on that later.
4 Comments »
Lori on 30 Apr 2006 at 2:45 pm #
I COMPLETELY understand! We get asked if we have heard anything yet on the adoption. The answer is usually no, but I too get panicky as if this is all a bad dream, and there will be no adoption in the end. Like it’s not going to happen at all! Waiting is tough, but you are right - God is totally in control and I lean on Him for patience, strength and trust that it will happen and that someday all of the waiting will just be a blur! Be stong, have faith and continually trust Jesus!
Judy on 30 Apr 2006 at 4:43 pm #
I think your response (that you consider harsh) would be right on for anyone who asks!
Keep the faith -
Love,
Judy
Tamara on 01 May 2006 at 8:24 am #
I feel EXACTLY the same way, QB. And it is always the worst in church (of all places) when people are just trying to be “involved”. But, I’m like, “I’ve told you guys a million times we won’t know anything until this summer!”. They’re ours - we know it. Yeah, being a parent is soooo different than I imagined it would be. I have a hard time even describing it.
Linda L. on 01 May 2006 at 9:02 am #
Praying that your peace continues even in the middle of comments like you told us…..You are so right about parenting…you cannot even imagine it until you are a parent! It’s fun, hard, rewarding, and all kinds of other emotions. You are doing a GREAT job! Linda L.