My Ebenezer

On Monday, I took Speedy and Princess down to the beach with Granny and Grandad. (their paternal grandparents) It was Speedy’s first trip to the beach and it looked as though he’d been hanging out there his whole life. We enjoyed watching him play and spending some quality time with Granny and Grandad. I feel so lucky that they are healthy people who want what is best for the kids and want to continue being grandparents.

I was a little worried that the salt water might bother Speedy or the waves might scare him - no chance! A few times a wave crashed over his head and he just laughed and laughed while trying to wipe the water from his face. I think all the swimming we’ve been doing helped get him ready for the waves.

Here are a few pictures of our beach trip:

Speedy loved to bury his feet in the sand:

Princess got sleepy soon after we arrived, but she never fussed:

 

Speedy was constantly on the go - playing in the water or digging in the sand, we couldn’t get him to take a break:

 

Princess finally took a nap under the umbrella:

 

And finally, Speedy had a lot of fun filling his bucket with water and dumping it out over and over and over again!:

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Friday night, toolman and I went out on a real date. We had a sitter for the kids and we went to a nice steak house and had a great time. It was funny, though, because we also wanted to see a movie but were too tired so we got home about 10:30. And that was late for us.

BK (before kids), we never understood all the hype about “date night” and how important it was for couples to spend time alone. Then again, we could spend time alone at home on the couch and we went out to eat several times a week, so it was never a big deal.

Now that we have kids, it’s a totally different story. Date nights are lots of fun and we really enjoy getting out by ourselves! Funny how a couple of kids can change your perspective!

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OOps, so I haven’t posted in a few days. Sorry.

The visit on Friday was a breeze. The maternal gparents weren’t there so I had no questions to answer. It seems that the bios no longer have a working vehicle and so they had to bum a ride to the visit and got there a couple of hours early. Not sure how they got back home but I guess the maternal gparents didn’t want to have to wait that long or risk having to walk back home. I dunno. We’ll see if they are there this Friday.

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Tomorrow (or today for many of you reading in the morning.. Friday) we have another visit. Last week, no one showed for the visit because, well, BM was otherwise detained and BF was….well, he didn't show. Anyway, tomorrow we visit again and I am a little more nervous than usual.

The whole family now knows that the paternal grandmother came over to our house to hang out with me and the kids a few weeks ago. The maternal grandmother will not be happy about this - and if she is there tomorrow she will certainly ask me about it. She ALWAYS comes out of the room to sit by me and "chat".

Let me tell you, we've had some interesting conversations. I think she's used to manipulating/pushing people around until she gets what she wants. She told me one of the first times that I met her that someone at CPS told her it was okay for me to give her my phone number. WHATEVER! Anyway, I'm sure she'll have something to say about why she can't come over and visit the kids - or at least call them on the phone. Hmmm…let's see, what would a proper response to that be? Part of me wants to be very direct and VERY honest, but that wouldn't make life easier on anybody. I will be honest. I will tell her that the CW gave me permission to have contact with the other grandparents - and that is 100% true. Though if the cw were to give me permission to let her have our contact information (which he just wouldn't do) then I'd be forced to be very direct and very honest about why that won't happen.

I guess we'll see how it goes. I keep reminding myself that despite everything, they show up to see the kids and that means something. A big something. Regardless of why the kids are with us, it still must be devestating to have children removed from your home.

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Our Little Princess,

I can't believe you are five months old today! You have grown so much since we first brought you home, it's hard to believe you are the same baby. The other day, I found your hospital ID bracelet and it just barely wrapped all the way around my thumb - that's how tiny you were in the beginning.

Now, you laugh and smile at us. You love it when mommy sings "You Are My Sunshine" and you usually turn  in the direction of my voice when I'm in the room. Your absolute favorite thing to do these days is to watch your big brother playing. When he makes faces or talks to you, you always light up and smile big for him.

You almost always have your fingers in your mouth when you are awake and you have started reaching for things around you. It won't be long before you are sitting up by yourself and I know I'm in BIG TROUBLE when you start crawling!

We love you!

Mommy and Daddy

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So many moms I know rarely get time for themselves. Some of them don't get this time because they just can't get any help, others choose not to have the time because they'd feel too guilty.

I'm so glad I don't suffer from that whole guilt thing. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things I do feel guilt over, but I think for the most part the things that guilt me are things that should guilt me.
Yesterday, Speedy went to MDO and I had a sitter for Princess. I took the whole five hours of MDO to myself! I did a little shopping and then went to a movie! It was the best. I hadn't been to a movie since we got the kids and I enjoyed it so much.

The thing is, I think taking breaks like these make me a better mom. When I get a little time for myself every once in a while then I am so much happier to be with the kids. A toddler and an infant demand a lot of attention. Any and every thing they want/need has to be given to them, for the most part. I love my kids and I'm happy to care for them, but it is soooo nice to have a break from all that.

I don't want to lose myself in my kids. I will enjoy them immensely and love them and take care of them, but one day they will move out and start their own lives. When that day comes, I don't want to be lost because I gave up my own identity to care for them.

I know that day is far away, but I don't want to get started on the wrong foot. KWIM? Nothing cheers my heart more than seeing Speedy or Princess smile and I imagine it will be that way for a long time to come. But I don't want to depend on them for my happiness or my joy. That comes from God. And I think the more I am able to maintain an identity other than just "mommy", the happier they will be, too.

And if that doesn't make any sense. NEvermind.

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I don't know what got into me yesterday but I was overwhelmed with the desire to make meatloaf. I had never made meatloaf before so I wasn't even sure how to do it, but I knew how I was going to do it. I looked at a few recipes to get some ideas and then just decided to put a bunch of stuff that we like in it and see what happened.

Historically, these ideas have not turned out well at all so I put Pizza Hut on speed dial, just in case.

I'm happy to report, however, that we all ate Meatloaf - I call it Meatloaf Parmesan because that's kinda what it tasted like. Speedy LOVED it and toolman went back for seconds so it was definitely a success. In addition to the meatloaf, I also made potato casserole that was to die for. Okay, maybe not "to die for" but it was yummy.

Who likes meatloaf? It's not exactly on the top ten list for most people so I just figured if I put enough stuff in it, no one would know it was meatloaf.

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Speedy is sleeping in his big boy bed for the first time tonight. It has been in his room for a few weeks now so I guess he has gotten used to it. We checked on him a few minutes ago and this is what we found:

So I guess he doesn't quite have the hang of it yet. ha ha ha! I'm glad the flash didn't wake him up.

Oh, and can I just say GROSS!

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The good news is that after talking with toolman last night, I realize that I am one whole year younger than I thought I was! WOO HOO! The bad news is that I am now old enough to forget how old I am…..and that can't be a good thing.

I just put Speedy in time out for not staying in his playroom (he has about 20 minutes of playroom time in the mornings). He is usually there for two minutes, but he got parolled 30 seconds early this morning because I heard him say, "Happy Birthday to youuuuuuu?"

I cracked up and had to get him out. Stinker.

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