My Ebenezer

• Why Ebenezer
• Category 2
• Category 3
• Category 4
• Category 5
• Category 6
• Category 7

Mr. Carter stays in bed in the morning and after naps until daddy-o or I go in to get him. He has only gotten out of bed twice when we put him down and so we have felt pretty lucky about him staying in there.

This morning, however, that may have changed. He came into our room this morning when I didn’t go to his room quickly enough. I’m okay with him coming to our room to get me in the mornings, but I’m afraid of what may happen if he leaves his room and doesn’t come directly to mine.

Maybe I should put bells on his door or something.

Then, just a few minutes ago, I heard him in the bathroom. In the time it took me to go throw away his dirty diaper, he had climbed up into the sink, gotten some bubbles and was blowing them – thankfully, over the sink.

I’m in SOOOOO much trouble here. For those of you laughing, STOP.

You see, he used to not be able to even reach the sink to climb up there, but he realized the other day that if he stacked two of his steps on top of each other, it was the perfect size to give him the boost he needed. HE’s also discovered that he can take those steps into the kitchen and reach things on the counter in there.

We had such a great visit this past Saturday with Gracey and Carter’s paternal grandparents, great-grandma and great-aunt. I had forgotten that the exterminator was coming to our house that morning so when the doorbell rang, I said, “I wonder who that is.” Carter takes off running full speed to the front door screaming, “PIZZA MAN!!!! PIZZA MAN!!!!”

I just laughed and looked at everyone and said, “Well, I guess you now know I don’t cook very often.”

I was on the phone this afternoon and Carter was in the room with me. Then he left and didn’t come back, which is very unusual so I went looking for him. Evidently, I had forgotten to lock the pantry door and he was sitting on the kitchen floor eating a granola bar. I won’t tell you how old it probably is.

Anyway, I look at him and he looks up like, “what?” I just laughed and then he smiled and said, “yummy.” I asked him if he really liked it or if he just liked it because he got it himself and he said, “I like it I got MYSELF!!!” ha ha ha

Then, as I was walking out of the kitchen he said, “Mommy! Need milk!”

Well, I’m sad to report that there are no visible teeth this morning. Gracey went to sleep last night at 7pm and slept until 7am this morning with no feedings. She usually gets a bottle before we go to bed around 10pm but not last night.

I’m not complaining. But this morning she wanted nothing to do with her food again. I don’t know if she took her bottle or not because I had to come to my office to get ready for my morning class. I just laughed and wished my mother in law good luck as I walked out of the kitchen.

Thankfully, my MIL is going to keep Gracey all day Thursday while Carter is at Mother’s Day Out. Which means I have no kids on Thursday! Woo Hoo! Of course, Carter has a little cough this morning and all my luck, will be sick and not able to go to MDO.

Here’s hoping it’s just allergies.

…like a woman scorned? I don’t think so. Try, like a baby teething!

For heaven’s sake, I hope she is teething. If this is a new twist in her personality I think I’m in for a slow, torturous death. I know I’m supposed to feel sorry for her and everything, and I do for about the first 5 minutes of the agonizing screaming and fussing. But let’s face it, I’m only human. I can only take so much. And evidently, for me, five minutes is “so much.”

I mean really. enough with the blood curtling screams. I get it. You hurt. Must you make me hurt, too?

Ahhh…the joys of motherhood. I know why God gave us a sweet, happy baby who never cried much. He knew that I just could not handle it. God knew if He gave us a fussy baby that I would have given her back. No, relax. I’m only kidding. Mostly.

She is still so sweet. She tries to smile when she has tears running down her face and it does break my heart. The good news is that she likes to cuddle and as long as I’m cuddling with her she seems to be able to tolerate whatever it is that is ailing her. I’m praying for a tooth in the morning.

But something tells me we’ve a ways to go yet.

You’d think with the TPR trial coming up in just 37 days that we’d be feeling more confident than ever about our future with Carter and Gracey.

So where is this fear coming from? I feel it growing in my heart, little by little, and it sucks. I’m just ready for it to all be over with. I want a piece of paper in my hands that says they are legally ours. I don’t want to worry about someone else stepping in at the last minute and deciding to take over. It sucks.

Oh, all right. I’ll stop my whining. Honestly? I don’t know how people do this. But THANK GOD they do.

It’s just that although I have complete faith in God, and I trust that His plan is in the works and I’m confident in HIM, I feel like I’m also holding my breath. Is that a contradiction? HOw can I be “confident” while I’m emotionally holding my breath? I guess I need to breathe in a little more HIm and a little less everything else.

I know, I know. I’ve posted more in the last few hours than I have all week. What can I say? I’ve finally found a few hours and some energy at the same time. I’ll spend all of next week trying to catch up on the sleep I’m losing now. Anyway, I’ve updated my blogroll on the left. I only have two categories, “Adoption” and “Blogroll”. Ya, I know. Real creative. But if you hover over the name of each, you will see a brief description of each blog. If you are not listed and would like to be, leave me a comment with your site. If you are listed and don’t want to be, leave me a comment. If you are listed and don’t like your tagline, leave me a comment and tell me what you want it to say.

Gracey was doing so well with eating baby food up until a few days ago. It’s like suddenly she just has no interest in it and does more fussing and reluctant eating than anything else.

Today, I tried warming her food a little more and that seemed to help – which only goes to show you what a true little diva she is. But I’m starting to think it isn’t so much the temperature as the aptitude that is making a difference. (hey, I used a big word. I wonder if I used it correctly. If not, let me live in my own glory, will ya?)

You see, today I gave her a sippy cup for the first time at lunch. It is one of the soft tip kind made especially for babies. She wasn’t too interested when I put it up to her mouth but she liked playing with it. At dinner, I offered it to her again and she put up quite a fight when I brought it to her mouth so I just put it back down in front of her.

AND THEN SHE PICKED IT UP. And brought it directly to her own mouth ALL BY HERSELF. And I SWEAR she was telling me “see, I can do it MYSELF.” I don’t know if she actually got any liquids out of it, but she was giving me some seriously evil eyes. I really think I should change her name to little miss independence. She then grabbed the spoon and put it in her mouth while giving me the same rebellious look.

I’m screwed, aren’t I?

PS Yesterday, she came very close to pushing herself up to a sitting position from the floor. Why does it all have to happen so fast?

Someday these kids will legally be ours.

Someday we’ll go on another vacation.

Someday Gracey will be walking.

Someday Carter will learn to swim.

Someday I’ll get to sleep all night long again.

Someday I’ll go back to NYC.

Someday I’ll write a book.

Someday I’ll volunteer at a shelter.

Someday ……….. sigh.

Some days, I don’t wanna wipe anyone else’s butt.

Some days, I DON’T WANT TO PLAY.

Some days, I just want to scream.

Some days, I want to lay on the couch and eat ice cream all day.

Some days, my patience seems to disappear.

Some days, I don’t want to be a wife or a mommy, I just want to be me.

Some days, I need a little more quiet time.

Some days, I count to ten a thousand times.

Some days, I’ll scream if I have to stay in the house one more minute.

Some days, I want to go grocery shopping by myself.

Some days…….sigh.

But someday, Carter and Gracey will wiper their own butts, fix their own meals, and leave me alone way too often.

Someday they won’t want to play with mommy anymore because they’ll be busy with their own friends.

Some days, I just think about somedays and then those some days aren’t so bad.

"Samuel took a single rock and set it upright between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer (Rock of Help), saying, This marks the place where GOD helped us."

1 Samuel 7:12 The Message

Adoption

• Our adoption story from beginning to end

Search

Search for: