My Ebenezer

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Daddy-o is on vacation all week and we started with a very busy weekend! We finally got to a pumpkin patch and I’ll have to share some pictures from that soon, but we didn’t get any that were perfect.

I’m hoping to go have our family portrait done this week but we have two runny noses so it may not be a good time to schedule that. I’m thinking we’ll send out Christmas/Adoption announcement cards at the same time this year! Wouldn’t that be fun?

Carter can now say the pledge of allegiance. We were talking about the flag and so I said it several times and he repeated me – now he can say the whole thing, when he wants to. It’s hilarious.  It sounds something like this: “I pedge aeeegiance, FLAG, nited sates merica. the Wepubic which sands, ONE NATION, under Gawwwd, liverteeee jusice for all. AMEN!”

Today is the adoption staffing, where the files are officially passed from our foster care worker to an adoption placement worker. This will get the ball rolling, hopefully!

In order to finalize adoption, we first have to sign adoption placement papers. Before we can do that, we have to turn in paperwork (done this morning), have a psych eval for Carter (done this afternoon – it is a standard requirement) and also read the files.

So, the only we have left to do is read the complete files which shouldn’t be a big deal, but legally, the files should be redacted before we are allowed to read them. In other words, all the names must be blacked out. This can take as long as eight weeks but I’m hoping that our worker will let this slide or get it done quickly. We already know all the names anyway so I don’t understand the point. :/

Once placement papers are signed, we’ll be able to finalize within thirty days. Our agency is pushing to finalize before the end of the year, possibly on December 29 which is the last day possible for this year. I’d be happy to take a late Christmas present, but we’ll see!

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I just felt like saying that.

Get over it. Penis is NOT a bad word. (though I’m sure I’ll get some interesting hits from google by having it so many times in this post.) Oh, and GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. Actually, it’s my mind that needs to get out of the gutter. I just reread my title and thought, Wow, that could really be misconstrued. Oh well.

Bedtime is exhausting. There has to be another way. Why is it JUST NOW occurring to me to pray and ask God to help us address Carter’s betime issues? Hello! Sometimes I could just kick myself.

I had a whole post all worked out in my head about our bedtime saga but now it is pointless.

Anyway, I’m feeling better and oh so proud of myself. That’s right. I taught Carter a new word. Yep. I’m that kind of a mom. Thought the “word of the day” around here usually isn’t one to write home about.

Yesterday, daddy-o was dressing Gracey and he asked if her shirt snapped in the back. I said, “Yes, it snaps in the back and in the crotch.” Carter immediately says, “CROTCH!” Nice, huh?

Today, we entered a brand new stage of learning and playing with Carter. WHILE OUR CASE WORKER WAS HERE FOR HER MONTHLY VISIT, Carter was in the playroom and got really quiet. I wondered what he was up to but knew there wasn’t much he could get into in the playroom so I didn’t worry too much.

Finally, after about ten minutes I said to our cw, “I better go see what he’s doing in there.” Then I had to have this conversation with him, within earshot of our caseworker:

Me: Carter, please put your wee wee (aka penis) back into your pull up and put the toy down.

Carter: confused look but follows directions

Me: Carter, if you want to play with your wee wee, you may do so during bath time or when we are changing your diaper, but it isn’t nice to take your wee wee out of your pull up. Your wee wee gets pee pee on it and that makes it yucky to touch when it is in your diaper.

Carter: It yucky

Me: Yes, Carter. Let’s go wash your hands and the toy and from now on, we’re going to leave our wee wee in our diaper, right?

Carter: leave wee wee in pull up!

Nice, huh? I don’t want to tell him not to play with his wee wee. Okay, yes, I do want to tell him that. But I know it is pointless. He’s curious and he is going to play with it but I’d rather him do it in private. I’m worried that he’ll start whippin it out at school when he gets bored. I have an idea that this is only the beginning of a very long wee wee saga.

Have you heard about The Home Office From Hell contest? I just found out and I am definitely entering. This isn’t a joke, it is real and I think I have ten good reasons why I should start renting office space instead of using my home office. 

Number Ten: There is a printer to my left, a rack of purses to my right and sewing maching behind me – not an ideal work space.

Number Nine: My home office is the “catch all” room for anything we don’t have a place for.

Number Eight: The cable for my internet connection is about 50ft long and stretches all the way down the hall into my office.

Number Seven: I have a filing cabinet that hasn’t been opened in two years because I’ve run out of room.

Number Six: My “to be filed” stack is almost as tall as I am.

Number Five: Various holiday decorations line elfa shelves but somehow never manage to leave this room, even when the holiday is approaching.

Number Four: Even when someone is here watching the kids while I work, I can still hear them and it makes it very hard to concentrate.

Number Three: At least once a day my two and half year old pokes his head in my office and screams while I’m teaching an online class.

Number Two: The same two year old tried to color a pretty picture for me – on my monitor.

And the Number One reason why I have the Home Office from Hell is because that same sweet two year old got into my briefcase and opened the tampons and spr

The Grand Prize winner will receive 12 months of rent (up to $12,000) at any location posted on Offices2Share.com plus a paid trip to New York City to have lunch with Donald Trump’s right-hand man and former Co-Star of The Apprentice – George Ross.

of being sick and tired.

Picked up a little bug last week which means the kids will probably have it this week. The good news is that we should all be healthy the week after so we’ll be able to go visit my sister! Woo Hoo!

Carter has learned that saying “I love you” can sometimes get him out of trouble. It’s hilarious. Prin

I went back to court today for the final order for TPR and the case wasn’t even on the docket. I was a little confused at first, then I talked to the caseworker who had just found out that the Judge was going to sign the order today but there would be no hearing since there was no appeal.

So that’s it. Termination is final. Now we move on to adoption placement. Please pray for the adoption placement worker who gets our file – pray that she will work very quickly!

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Okay, you know I had to add a picture for the post below! Doesn’t she look proud of herself?

BTW, I had to cover her up – there are just too many pervs out there and I didn’t want any of them to stumble across my n#kd baby pics.

My dear sweet Gracey,

Today, when I put you down for your afternoon nap in nothing but your diaper, I worried a little about you getting cold. But you were so sleepy and the clothes you had on were much too hot to sleep in so I gently laid you down in your crib as you were.

I wondered why I kept hearing you babble and play when I knew you should have been sleeping. Much to my surprise, when I peeked into your room about fifteen minutes later, I saw you standing in your crib completely naked. I’m still not sure how you got your diaper off but you must be feeling pretty clever. There you were, giggling so hard your little butt dimples danced.

Knowing how adorable each phase you go through is, I went to get daddy and the camera. Daddy told me to hurry lest I get back and find a surprise in your bed, but you already had that covered. Turd mashing really isn’t acceptable behavior, especially for a Gracey. When I went to get you out of bed, I saw you standing on a turd with a huge smile on your face. You really seemed to like the feel of it mushing between your toes.

Daddy ran for cover and left me in charge of clean up – so as I gagged and tried not to vomit, I went to get some wipes to pick up your poop. Daddy finally came back and picked you up out of the crib but couldn’t put you on the changing table because you had a turd hanging from your sweet little bottom. Oh, and you also had one foot covered in poop.

We finally cleaned you up and changed your sheets and got you back down for you nap. I realize it had been a while since I changed your sheets, but was it really necessary for you to crap all over them to give me a message? Really, that kind of behavior is just unbecoming for a Gracey.

But thanks for the laugh.

I love you,

Mommy

When I think about how much we have been blessed I become overwhelmed with gratitude. A year ago we were anxiously waiting for the phone to ring, telling us we’d been selected for a child or children. Two years ago we were anxiously waiting on two thin pink lines that never showed up. Today, I couldn’t be happier that we never saw two thin pink lines and that our phone did not ring last October.

Our lives have changed so much in 8 1/2 months.

Motherhood is not what I expected it to be. Although I knew it would be hard, I didn’t realize how hard it would be some days. I had no idea how much joy I would receive from making peanut butter sandwiches and playing with play dough. I thought I knew what it would be like but I don’t think anyone ever can.

I think what surprised me the most is how much I don’t like being a mom on some days. No one really tells you how much you won’t like that job and how much you’ll sometimes wish for the days of less responsibility. Why don’t other women warn us of those feelings? I know most people have them because I’ve talked with several friends who have small children and they all agree – sometimes is sucks to be a mom. There are days when you don’t like your children, moments when you want to just run away. Then you get a quiet little, “I lub you in my hart, mommee” and all the negative emotions fade away. Or you hear your baby’s giggle and suddenly you can’t remember what it was you wanted to run from.

I wonder if those of you who have grown children just forget? Is that why you don’t warn us? It has to be. Why else would you send your daughters and grand-daughters into battle without the weapon of knowledge? Have you really forgotten how much you sometimes didn’t like being mommy?

Some of you who don’t have kids yet might be shaking your heads right about now. “I can’t believe she is saying that, after she prayed and prayed for God to bring these kids to her.” Sisters, you just don’t know. I imagine all of you moms with small children are nodding your heads and saying, “yes! I’ve been there!” Parenting is not an easy job.

So this is just me leaving my mark in the cyber world for all who come after me – sometimes is SUCKS to be a mom. Consider yourselves warned.

I love my children more than I could ever describe and even on the worst of days I would lay down my life for them without a second thought. The good days outweigh the bad (most weeks) and it only takes one smile from Carter or Gracey to turn my day around. I wouldn’t trade my life with anyone.

Unfortunately, I still feel the need to defend myself on this. Why is that? Why is there so much guilt when we don’t like parts of our jobs as mommys? I stand in fear of being condemned for speaking the truth – a truth that many moms hide deep within their hearts. Lucky for you, I’m not one to keep my mouth shut on much of anything. And I write this on a morning when I’m feeling good and looking forward to the day ahead. If it was a bad morning, I probably wouldn’t have the courage.

"Samuel took a single rock and set it upright between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer (Rock of Help), saying, This marks the place where GOD helped us."

1 Samuel 7:12 The Message

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