My Ebenezer

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I can’t get my photos to upload but I’ll post them later. Five minutes after standing in front of the Judge, we are a legal family now. It’s all done.

The Judge told Carter, “Happy Adoption Day” and so did our lawyer. He was very excited and said, “yaaaay!” after the lawyer said that to him.

In about six months, we’ll recieve new birth certificates that list us as the birth parents. So I guess you could say I gave birth to a 2 1/2 year old and a 13 month old this morning. Ouch.

I don’t feel any differently. Just ready to get on with the rest of our lives.

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow.

Need I say more?

I don’t feel nervous, but I can tell I am a bit on edge. I can’t focus on much of anything and just keep thinking about tomorrow. I doubt I’ll sleep tonight. Last night I had CRAZY dreams that I may tell you about some day. Not today.

I went and bought ribbon this morning to make a bow that will match Gracey’s dress. Like I really have time to be doing that….but I’m going to give it a try. All of this energy and excitement and I know it will be over in five minutes. I think Carter senses the excitement in the air and he smiles real big every time I tell him we’re going to see the Judge tomorrow.

Here’s a few “Carterisms” from today:

After putting him in timeout and him having a meltdown while there….
Me: Carter, do you know why you were in time out?
Carter: because I tried to hit sissy with my suspenders
Me: yes, and that is bad behavior. You could really hurt sissy like that – we don’t hit anyone with anything.
Carter: no hit ANYONE
Me: you may get down now, come give me a hug
Carter: (as he is huggin me) I forgib you, mommy.

Later in the car, we saw a man dressed crazy and dancing wildly on the side of the street (advertising for some local business)
Me: Look, Carter, that silly man is dancing a jig!
Carter: dat man is dancing like a pig, mommy?

I can think of little else but the adoption finalization on Tuesday. That, and planning for the celebration the following Sunday!

I just can’t wait to know that we can go out of town without getting anyone’s permission. No one will be coming to our house once a month to make sure we still meet the standards for certification. I will no longer have to fill out forms every time we go to the doctor or dentist.

Little things ……. but big to us.

I don’t know that I’ll feel any differently when the Judge declares us legally a family. I imagine maybe a huge sense of a weight being lifted from my shoulders – but I’m not sure. I just want to know we’re done. I want their names in writing. I want the birth certificate with our names listed as parents.

Several of our family members will be in court with us on Tuesday. It will be video taped and I’m sure we’ll get to take pictures with the Judge. I hope so, anyway. I hope that he will say something like, “Happy Family Day!” – Just for Carter’s sake.

This is a crazy week – finalizing adoption, sworn in as an advocate and a big party in our home. Glad I don’t have anything to do this week. ha ha ha

People everywhere warn their children about strangers. But the most common predators on our children are people we know. People they know and trust. I was amazed to hear from a detective last night that about 90% of the sexual abuse cases he has worker – the stepfather or boyfriend of the mother was the perpetrator.

We listened to a recorded forensic interview of a seven year old little girl who described, in detail, performing or@l s$x on her FATHER. She talked about it like she was talking about playing chase. Although her face was blurred, I don’t think I’ll EVER forget the image of her I saw or the sound of her voice.

How hard will it be for me to work with a child who has been sexually abused? It would be excrutiating. I can’t imagine watching the forensic interview and then meeting that child face to face, knowing what’s been done.

But I have to tell you, I’m OVERWHELMED with compassion for these kids. I know my heart will break when I hear their stories but that’s no reason to walk away from it. I want to advocate for them. To be a voice for them. Afterall, someone has to.

I’m learning a lot in my training to become a Child Advocate and I’m very excited to get started. I’m also learning some sad facts:

“It is an odd comment on the western world that legislation for the prevention of cruelty to animals predated protection of children in most areas. A century ago in England, children eight and nine years old were forced to work longer hours in the coal mines than the pit mules that were protected by law.”

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it is okay to abuse animals but shouldn’t kids come first?

It was 1944 before the courts begin to restirct parental control in order to protect the well-being of a child. That really wasn’t that long ago.

I am getting soooo excited about the finalization. I can’t believe it is almost here. I haven’t had much time for writing this week because I’ve been doing my Child Advocates training. I’ll tell you more about it when I’m done next week.

In the meantime:

Yes, this is real. It’s not just a test to determine who can see what and if I’ve figured this thing out or not.

Changes abound in our household. In LESS THAN ONE WEEK we become an official family. Can you believe it? I’m just ecstatic!

It also looks like I’m about to start a new contract, professionally. It may not sound like much, but it’s going to be a relatively big change because it means I’ll be terminating my current contract. But the work will be a little more exciting and a little more consistent. Woo hoo!

I know you probably have a million user names and passwords to remember……but I’m going to add another one! Sorry, but it’s going to be easier for me to manage who sees what. The benefit to you is that you can see MORE! Please find the link on the right side bar that says “register”. It will ask for your email address (which will be your username) and then a password will be mailed to you. You will have the option of changing the password to something easy for you to remember.

From this point forward, all photos and other information that I don’t want to make available for google searches, etc, will be protected by this. If you aren’t logged in, you may not see everything, but a lot of the blog will still be public. and who knows, just for signing up you may get something special! but probably not.

still trying to figure this whole thing out

How cool is this? This is the official countdown to finalization! Woo Hoo!

"Samuel took a single rock and set it upright between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer (Rock of Help), saying, This marks the place where GOD helped us."

1 Samuel 7:12 The Message

Adoption

• Our adoption story from beginning to end