You are currently browsing the archives for May, 2007.
The start of a beautiful day:
Me:Carter, are you ready for breakfast?
Carter: No, I’m not hungry
blah blah blah conversation continues for ten minutes or so.
Me: Come on, Carter, let’s go get breakfast
Carter: Remember? I said I’m not hungry?
This whole potty thing is getting a little dangerous. While he did very well, yesterday, with only one accident all day long, he started with an accident this morning. HOWEVER, I believe it was quite intentional. I sent him to his room for a time out and came out 30 seconds later saying he had gone pee pee. And, he had. But it wasn’t even enough to make a mess, just enough to require a change of underwear. I really think he thought that was the fastest way to get out of his room. Little stinker. So I changed him and sent him back to his room for a few minutes.
Overheard in our house Monday morning:
Daddyo: Look, it’s already raining.
Carter: Awwww, SHOOOOT! it’s raining today.
Overheard several times yesterday:
Me: Carter, do you want [insert any random item here]
Carter: sure, baby
I call him baby a lot and he’s picking it up now and calling me baby. It’s hilarious.
Pooped in Potty Town
Posted May 28th, 2007 at 3:15 pm. 4 comments
The hell that is potty training has seriously begun. Why didn’t anyone tell me that pull-ups were supposed to be a short term thing? Carter has been in pull-ups for about 2 months, and we’ve encouraged him to potty off and on as we have remembered. I guess my hope of him just waking up one day and already potty trained isn’t going to happen. 
So he’s been in big boy underwear for three days now. Yesterday, he had no accidents! So far today, he’s only had one small one. We’re doing M&M’s as rewards on some days and stickers on others. The stickers encouraged him to take the initiative this morning but only once. So here is my question. For those of you potty training veterans out there, should we be constantly reminding him all day long or should we give him the chance to notice on his own that he needs to go? I mean, we’re taking him to the potty every 15 – 30 minutes now. Should we keep that up until he starts going on his own? Please, some one just give me step by step instructions on this. Preferably something that will work yesterday.
In other news, we can’t get Carter to even agree to want to poop on the potty. He can tell when he has to poop but he’s just not going on the potty. He pooped in his underwear yesterday but didn’t seem all that phased by it. Today, when it was time, we put him in a diaper. I know, that’s cheating. ANyway, guess who did poop on the potty this morning? No, it wasn’t me. Not yet, anyway, Gracey pooped on the little potty! I could tell she was ready to go so I just stuck her on there and off she went. I was hoping that might encourage Carter – you know, a little sibling rivalry. He was so excited for her – but had no interest in following suit.
Potty training
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SUCKS
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The TRUTH about Foster Care
Posted May 25th, 2007 at 4:51 am. 2 comments
It’s so easy to hear a story on the news about a foster family and something that went wrong and just sit back and shake our heads. A local news station did a story a while back about the atrocities taking place in one particular foster family. I’m not talking about abuse and neglect, I’m talking about not following procedures and “allowing” something to happen under your roof. Really, it’s neither here nor there.
Here’s what you won’t hear on the local news station about foster parenting. All of what I’m about to tell you comes from reading real case files (not Stella’s) and talking with real foster parents and case workers. It is not a “true” story but is an accurate representation of what happens.
What the foster parent is told by the caseworker:
Missy is a 13 year old caucasion female. She has been in two other foster homes and has been in care for one year. She is basic level of care and does not require special medical care. She does receive therapy twice a month and has a monthly visit with her parents and siblings.
What the caseworker knows:
Missy has been in and out of foster care for the last 5 years. Missy has allegedly “s@xually touched” a child a few years younger than her. She often steals from her caregivers and has been picked up a few times for shoplifting but never been charged. If Missy is not placed in a foster home today, she will be moved to a horrible shelter where she will have only a cot for sleeping. If she tells perspective foster parents everything she knows about Missy, they will never accept the placement.
The reality:
Missy is placed with a foster family with 3 other girls – a 16 year old, an 8 year old and a three year old. After an initial “honeymoon” period, Missy begins to act out. She propositions one of the foster father’s friends, is caught having s@x with a boy in the library at school and then perpetrates on the 8 year old. The foster parents are blamed for not being more diligent with rules and boundaries. Missy endures yet another move.
While you may be thinking that the foster parent should, in fact, have been more diligent, stop and consider everything else the foster parents are dealing with. There are four foster children in the home. Each child has at least one 1-2 hour visit with family once or twice a month. (sometimes more depending on age and where they are in the process) Let’s call that six meetings. The CPS office where the meetings are held are all in different locations so none of the visits can be scheduled at the same times. Oh, and they have to be during regular business hours. And it takes you 30 minutes or more to drive to the CPS office. Think of it as 6 mornings taken up with visits out of 20 business days in one month.
That’s just the visits. Each of the older girls should be in therapy at least twice a month. So that’s 8 hours if it is individual therapy and only 4 if it is group therapy. Again, between driving there and back that is another 2 mornings or afternoons of those 20 days gone. And then there are the PPT meetings. Every 3 months, each child or sibling group has a staffing where all interested parties get together to talk about the case and foster parents are strongly encouraged to attend. They usually last about 2 hours. OH yeah, and then there’s court. That happens about every 3 months as well. For each child. And that can take a whole day. Then you have doctor’s appointments – not including if any child happens to be sick. There are all kinds of appointments and such that have to be kept for these kids.
Oh wait, we forgot one small detail. 3 of your 4 kids are in school from 8-3 every day so appointments have to try to be scheduled after school. The last thing these kids need is to be missing more school. And did I mention the monthly visits from caseworkers? Each child has his/her own caseworker who should be coming to visit the kids in your home once a month. And every quarter you have to have a major visit to review all guidelines and make sure you are following all procedures. And while you are doing ALL of that, feed, clothe, transport and most of all love and parent these kids as though they were your own. And be sure to get your 30 hours of training in every year. And if thermometer you are required to have in your refrigerator happens to break and the caseworker notices it, you’re going to get written up.
Oh, and there is one more thing. If one of these kids you are caring for doesn’t like your rules or a decision you make, he/she can call his/her caseworker and gripe and complain and may even talk the caseworker into speaking to you about it. And, if they get really mad at you, they can tell their caseworker that you beat them with a belt which would result in a full fledged investigation on you and your family.
Oh, and another thing. the three older kids are robbing you blind. Your home has turned into a place where you have to lock up anything you want to keep. Neighbors? Yeah, they don’t talk to you anymore because your kids keep stealing things from their kids. Or lying. Or bullying.
Tell you what. If you like the job description go ahead and sign up. The pay is excellent. You’ll get a whopping $8 – $12 a day for each child in your care, depending on where you live.
Obviously, the descriptions above deal mostly with older foster kids. But it is a very sad reality in our society. Some people say that foster parents shouldn’t be allowed to have more than one or two kids. I think that is a great idea. Unfortunately, there aren’t enough people willling to be foster parents to even cover all of the kids who are currently in care – much less the ones who are above and beyond the two per house we imagine in an ideal world.
I can’t imagine too many people signing up for that job and sticking with it for the pay. It’s a passion. It’s a service. It’s a sacrifice. It’s a mission field. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
the TRUTH about cats and dogs
Posted May 25th, 2007 at 3:46 am. Add a comment
Well, forgive me for being so vague in this post but you know by now that I have to be. If you remember, the last time I shared about Stella she had run away from her foster home but was in a safe place with family. She returned to a local shelter for teens where a lot of CPS kids go when they can’t find foster homes. It’s where she wanted to go and it’s a great facility but it’s almost too good. For kids like Stella, anyway. They do a lot with them and they go on outings and stuff. Most shelters aren’t that way – in fact, they are far from it. Stella likes it there. The shelter won’t let anyone stay longer than 90 days, it is a short term facility so it isn’t a long term option for anyone. Unless they keep running away from foster homes and going back there. ha ha That would eventually stop working.
Anyway, Stella needs your prayers now more than ever. Her current residence is another “should be” short term facility that probably isn’t a lot of fun but is VERY necessary for her. In fact, because she is there she will now receive two of the services we have been advocating for from the beginning. So all in all, it’s not a bad thing. It just continues to frustrate me how these kids come into “the system” and don’t get the help they need.
It’s no one’s fault in particular. I don’t blame the case worker or any of the workers – they do the best they can with what they have. But someone down the line is determining how much money is alloted to help these kids and it just isn’t enough. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. See, this is when I start to get really irritated with all the tree huggers. Now, forgive me if that particular term is offensive to you. If it is offensive, then my guess is you probably have a little tree bark embedded in your arms. ha ha ha Come on, you know that was funny. 
I’m all for saving the environment and stuff like that but some people really go to severe extremes with plants and animals. Hey, I’d like to see dogs treated better by owners also but I’m not giving you a dime towards that cause. Not when there are children out there who don’t have the funds to get the help they need to overcome obstacles they don’t deserve.
Sometimes it just feels like there are more people out there willing to DO SOMETHING about Rover being starved and beaten by his owner than they are about Sally being abused and neglected by her parents. I love dogs. I love humans more. I know there are those out there who put dogs on the same level with humans. And I think that is just NUTS.
Anyway, back to Stella. Two things are currently happening that we’ve been fighting for from the beginning so that is a good thing. The sad thing is that both of these are things that were recommended for her by a doctor who evaluated her upon entering care several months ago. But it was decided by non-medical workers that these things were not necessary.
We can do better than that, can’t we?
Game On
Posted May 25th, 2007 at 3:46 am. Add a comment
I have to tell you that along with other gaming addictions I have mentioned here before, backgammon is probably one of the worst. I have spent more hours than I’d like to admit playing backgammon online.
I guess I like that playing backgammon really does require a certain level of intelligence. Unlike solitaire, which I also play way more often than I should, in order to outwit your opponent you have to plan ahead. You also have to be willing to take some risks. Anyway, I write all that to say that Backgammon is a lot bigger than I thought it was. Evidently, there is worldwide interest in playing some serious backgammon – an oonline backgammon gaming company is now even focusing its attention in Latin America.
So if you find yourself bored at work just log in and you could end up playing backgammon against someone who speaks a different language and is in another part of the world. Like I need any kind of excuse to play backgammon. Hey, maybe the secret to world peace is in backgammon! Everyone can speak backgammon and it can unite us one and all……okay, sorry. I couldn’t resist. I realize I’m really reaching here.
I need to go back and find all my posts with links to random games on the internet so those of you who have misplaced them can once again be fulfilled. Remember the egg basket game? Geez! I wish I could find that silly link. It was my favorite, followed closely by the helicopter game. Maybe I better not go linking for any of those links. It’s not like I have any extra time on my hands these days.
Speaking of games, I sure wish I could find a good online version of Q-bert. Do you remember Q-bert? We used to play it on our Atari. Man, those were the good ole days, weren’t they? Pole Position was another favorite. Ahhh….the eighties. I think if I ever win the lottery one of the things I’m going to do is throw an amazing eighties party. Complete with parachute pants, Atari games, Cyndi Lauper songs and reruns of Different Strokes. I might even have to serve YooHoo and Poprocks.
Ah, I’m digressing! Back to the backgammon thing. Check out this press release:
“http://www.BackgammonMasters.com online game company is expanding worldwide, placing its attention and resources on Latin American markets. By being the first-ever and only company to introduce an online version of the popular Spanish dice game, Perudo, (in addition to their poker and backgammon) BackgammonMasters has now established itself as an industry leader in most, if not all, of the world’s major online game playing regions. This increased activity in Latin markets has resulted in the need for the company to open a branch office in Central America.
By studying and listening to the demands of Latin audiences, BackgammonMasters is able to provide the most desirable and popular community games of particular world regions as part of their global strategy to maintain the world’s largest community game network. In addition, the BackgammonMasters animated series starring their tiger mascot, Jean-Claude, has drawn viewers from all over the world, including those from Latin Markets.
What is unique about BackgammonMasters’ software and all-in-one game concept is that with only one download from one site, players enter one game lobby and select from any number of games whether it be backgammon, perudo, poker and soon to come, blackjack. All of BackgammonMasters games are developed in multi player variations as part of their community concept, and the company has stated that more popular games for the Latin Markets are already in the works.
BackgammonMasters.com, the World Backgammon Network, has a revolutionary approach to online backgammon. BackgammonMasters.com owns and operates its own proprietary backgammon software that delivers a realistic experience, with first-rate graphics and unrivaled usability, in a fully-supported playing environment. BackgammonMasters.com supports all popular payment methods in Latin American countries such as Visa/MasterCard.
Report by Gammonish.com – backgammon online resource for news and information. More about backgammon online and online backgammon game rules can be found at http://www.gammonish.com.”
Boxer Briefs
Posted May 25th, 2007 at 3:14 am. 2 comments
What’s funny about the whole potty training thing is that I’m really not frustrated by it at all. It’s not like I’ve really been trying – I put the kid in a pull up and then forget to take him to the potty. I did put him in underwear for a while today and he did fine until dinner time. He peed and was very bothered by it – so maybe we should say audios to pull ups and just deal with the mess for a while. I guess I need to plan a week when we can stay home a lot. Ugh.
We did buy him some adorable boxer briefs today at Target. His little butt is soooo cute in those things. They are “just like daddy’s” and he actually picked them over the Thomas the Train underwear. Now that you all know what type of underwear daddy-o wears, I’m sure you’ll sleep better.
From what I’m hearing from other mom’s it looks like I’m going to be cleaning poop out of underwear before it’s all said and done. Nice. Guess I better go buy more underwear. Ick.
More Carterisms
Posted May 24th, 2007 at 3:24 pm. 3 comments
We’ve been talking a lot about the difference between truth and lies, “on purpose” and “accident” and I think Carter is starting to get it. Maybe.
Eating a snowcone in the car…
Carter: Uh oh, mommy, I spilled
Me: that’s okay, Carter. Accidents happen.
Carter: (quiet, with a pondering look on his face) Mommy? Does purposes happen, too?On the potty training front, he is definitely able to tell when he needs to poop. This morning, he went to the playroom and hid around the corner. When I started walking that way, he said, “no mommy. stay away. Carter is pooping.”
I think i’m going to try some reverse psychology. I’m going to take his potty chair away and put him back in diapers and tell him that I don’t think he is quite big enough to learn to use the potty yet. When he starts asking, I’m going to say no for a few days and then see if we can try it again.
Outsmarting a toddler? Never gonna happen.
Customer Relationship Software
Posted May 23rd, 2007 at 5:03 am. Add a comment
Surely you all remember my rants about Time Warner Cable and how much it sucks. Well, maybe the poor people over at TW could benefit from better CRM software. Sure, their biggest problem isn’t in getting customers but in keeping them, but maybe AIMPromote could help them, anyway.
See, the way I figure it, if the sales team is happier and more efficient, then they’ll share some of that contentment with the customer service department. I have no hope for the Customer Service department on its own, so we have to start somewhere. Lead management is the focus of AimPromote and since the guys over at TW don’t seem to be so smart, they’d really appreciate the opportunity to spend more time on making sales and less time on learning software.
There’s even a 14 day free trial!
I’m not bitter about TW. Really, I’m not. Okay, maybe I’m a little bitter. I still giggle every time I see one of their repair vans in the neighborhood – which is quite often.
C-R-A-P
Posted May 22nd, 2007 at 3:53 am. 5 comments
The $%^# really hit the fan today, folks. Literally. Well, almost literally. You’ve heard my poop stories before but none compare to this one.
It all started when i tried to have a conversation over the telephone with the gymnastics coach. I know… I know. ALL of these tormenting stories seem to start with, “When Carter was in the playroom…….” I promise my kids do not spend the entire day locked away in the playroom. In fact, they really aren’t there very much out of the day at all – it’s just that when they are is the only time I can usually talk or write or think or breathe…you get the picture.
Anyway, so I’m on the phone with Coach when I hear Carter running towards my office saying, “mommy! I have poo poo!” It’s not at all uncommon for him to let me know it is time to change his diaper. (just shut it. I KNOW he is ready to be potty trained. I am really almost ready to get serious about it.) It is, however, uncommon for him to run into my office saying that WITH NO DIAPER ON. Oh yeah, you read that right. My sweet little angel comes running into my office, declaring he has poop but he has no friggin’ diaper on. You see where this is going.
I’m on the phone with the man I want to be willing to teach my son how to not break his neck when he is climbing and jumping off of things so I’m trying not to react too much. I get a pull up on Carter and put him in time out. Alright. For all of you thinking, “why didn’t she hang up the phone and take care of things?” Where the HECK were you when this was happening? Again, SHUT IT. You just had to be there. Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking.
Anyway. So I’m trying desperately to get off the phone with coach and I turn – FOR A SECOND – to write something down and when i look up Carter is gone. Hence the name, Carter. Not to worry, though, because he is back a few seconds later kind of running and kind of hopping on one foot saying, “mommy! Please get the poo poo off of my foot.”
$#&^%#&^%#V #&^*#&^* V# *^#%^%$%@%$
At this point, I know I’m screwed. Because if it is on his foot and I can see him but can’t see the poop then I know the poop is also everywhere he has been. I pick him up and put him in his chair and I’m trying to clean his foot with a wipe while at the same time trying to cordially get off the dang phone. FINALLY, I get off the phone and realize that Carter must have had crap on his fingers at some point, too. Because he wiped it off. ON THE FRIGGIN’ WALL. Next to the time out chair.
As I’m cleaning it off the wall and washing his foot (keep in mind I still have not investigated the original crime scene) it suddenly occurs to me that Gracey is still in the playroom. Why that tiny fact eluded me from the beginning I will never know. All I know is that by the time I get to the playroom to save the Gracey from the poo she is sitting next to a pile of crap with a turd between her fingers. And she thinks it is the coolest thing ever. She is laughing at the turd in her hand. And I’m praying it doesn’t get into her mouth before I get it away from her.
I got there before she thought to eat it (i hope, anyway) and there was no way in heck I was checking inside her mouth for traces of poop. Let’s face it, if she ate it there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. And if I saw a little poop on her tooth I was going to puke and have an even bigger mess to clean. I scooped her up, cleaned her up and put a screaming Gracey in her crib so i’d know she was safely hiding from the poop while i went back to cleaning.
There was poop on the floor. Poop on a few toys. Poop on the bean bag. And plenty of poop on the carpet. Ironically, there was NO poop in the diaper.
All of this happened before lunch. And who could eat after that?
Needless to say, I am …..pooped.
Monkey Business
Posted May 22nd, 2007 at 3:21 am. Add a comment
I took Carter to a “preview” class in gymnastics this afternoon and he loved it. He was, however, the ONLY kid running around and leaving his group when he was supposed to be paying attention. Once they got him focused on something he did pretty well, but he was always interested in what was going on around him, too. I think he’ll get the hang of it after a few weeks. I hope so, anyway.
The cutest thing was seeing Gracey clapping for him (or for some random kid, who knows) and yelling, “yaaaaay!” at one point during the class. It was really funny.
Overheard:
Daddy-o: C’mon, Carter, get your shoes on so we can go.
Carter: (in a VERY excited and animated voice) “are we going to do man things, daddy?”
Daddy-O: We are now.