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Carter had to fill in the blanks on a questionairre about his daddy. The results are below with his word in bold:

My Dad’s name is Daddy. My Dad is old old old years old. My Dad’s favorite food is honey and butter. (this is true) My Dad and I like to play games. My Dad is special because I like him to be special. My Dad scoops up dirt at work. My Dad’s favorite place to eat is Chuck E Cheese. When Dad gets home from work he likes to do nothing. I love my Dad because he plays with me.

.

I have not fallen off the face of the earth.

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the school and Carter stuff. It’s just that he had such a rough start in life, I hate to see him struggle with this as well. I am very glad I have him in preschool and we can begin to address it now, before it starts to affect him academically. But still. I just want him to happy and I want things to not be so hard for him. Though I must say he hardly seems to notice that anything is hard at all.

On the other hand, I know how God uses these things to make us stronger. I know everything we face helps to shape who we become. And I know that God has a beautiful plan for Carter’s life. Do I really need to repeat it now or do you all know it by heart? Jeremiah 29:11…come on, who can leave it in the comments section WITHOUT looking it up? Anyone? Anyone?

DaddyO and I observed Carter in Sunday School and children’s church this weekend and today I observed him for quite a while in school. He did fantastic on Sunday, today…well, not so much. It was great for me to see him with the other kids and see what they were doing compared to what he is doing. I know all kids are different and I don’t mean “compare” so much as get a feel what the norm may be for kids his age. When ALL the other kids are staying in their centers and Carter lasts about 1.5 minutes in his, that tells me something. There were other things, too. He’s not malicious, he’s not mean, he’s just very enthusiastic about life and has a difficult time waiting his turn for the next best thing. (spoken like a true mom, eh?)

Tonight was “Dad’s night out” at the school and one of the other father’s came up to DaddyO and told him that when he asked his daughter what she was most looking forward to about this evening, she said, “Carter!” So I guess he has a fan. It really felt good to hear that because I left school today fearing that Carter would be one of those kids the other kids didn’t want to play with.

He’s just so darn cute. So here are pictures from this morning. It was finally cool enough for a long sleeve shirt (at least in the morning) so I thought I’d dress them in Halloween outfits. Gracey has another adorable Halloween outfit but it was dirty – she’s already worn it a few times since it is short sleeve. The shirt Gracey has on in the picture is the one Carter wore last year. She was not having a good morning – yes, world, she does cry.

Okay, so it’s time for some showing off. Here are the pics from before school this morning:

and photos from the Pumpkin Patch:

Need I say more?

When you walk 2.5 miles to the school with the stroller, it is too late to realize this really wasn’t such a great idea. I didn’t die and I walked 5 miles. that has to count for something, right?

I honestly don’t know how I’ll ever be able to walk 13.1 miles. But I am going to do it. Even if it takes me all day.

I have no idea how Carter did at school today – I didn’t ask. He didn’t have any accidents so that’s a good thing.

Just an official report. I did another 3 miles this morning, but took about 48 minutes. I was still hurting from the last time so I didn’t push it.

Yesterday afternoon I found myself sitting in the administrators’ office at Carter’s school once again. Sigh. But this time I got some really great information. I was given specific examples of behavior issues that help me understand more what is happening in class. It’s been hard for me to really grasp because he’s not disrespectful or outright oppositional, just busy. Hyper maybe. I haven’t wanted to believe that he may really have ADHD and I still don’t, but I think it’s time to have someone who can be a little more objective take a closer look.

We’re going to have him evaluated by a professional and see if that is part of the problem and if it is, see what we can do to help. I am a big believer in early intervention so if there is something we can do now to make it easier on him later, then we need to get on top of it. I have some references and I’ve made a few calls. We’ll see how it goes.

So,

Brigitte got some scoop for me this morning on Carter’s teacher. Seems I’m not the only mom who has been less than pleased. She ran into someone today who has a boy Carter’s age who started out this school year in Carter’s class. But her son didn’t like it at all and she got tired of hearing all bad things when she picked him up and just had an overall uneasy feeling about the teacher. So she had her son moved to the other class and now they both love it.

I feel somehow vindicated. Maybe that’s not the right word. At least I’m not the only one who has had issues with this teacher. Sadly, I think it is just a lack of experience in working with this age group. I’m sure by the end of the year she is going to be wonderful, but there is surely a learning curve when you are teaching 3 year olds.

Wow. It is unseasonably hot and humid here which doesn’t make it easy to be exercising outside. I found a SUPER deal on a double jogging stroller from craigslist and we used it this morning to walk 3 miles in 45 minutes! That’s 3 miles pushing a combined weight of about 50lbs – considering they were in the stroller and the laws of physics I have no idea what that actually added to the workout, if anything. It definitely made manuevering a little more difficult.

Anyway, THREE MILES! I’m proud. I’m still putting in time at the gym, but I’m also going to try to walk at least twice a week. Maybe more. The kids seemed to like the stroller and Carter liked playing “I spy” as we went through the neighborhood.

I do have to confess that mine is not a body meant for running. I did jog a little – a VERY little – and I thought I was going to die. I’m hoping that every time we go, I’ll be able to jog just a little bit more. I have no intention of running the marathon, but I want to make the time limits which means I’ll probably have to jog at least a little bit of the way.

Sigh. What have I gotten myself into.

I also need to get moving on the fundraising front. When you click on the link it asks if you want to donate $35, $135, $810 or $1600 – I wish I could change that because it seems a little confusing. There is also the option to select $other and enter your own amount. If I can find 1000 people to donate a dollar, well, you can do the math.

You know, I hope I will always be a cool mom. I’m sure I’ll never be cool in my kids’ eyes (especially when they’re teenagers) but as long as I’m cool in my own eyes, that’s all that really matters. Right?

We made Halloween decorations today – painted brown paper lunch sacks and transformed them into pumpkins. Painted coffee filters and made pumpkins. But best of all, we painted some bats I printed from the internet and now they are flying around my den. I tied one to each of the four blades on our ceiling fan (with fishing line) and taped a dime to each one to give it some weight. The kids went nuts when they saw them flying around the room. Gracey calls them “tweet tweets” (her name for birds).

I love that Carter thinks I’m his best friend right now. I know he will grow out of that one day – probably much sooner than I’d like – but I love that when I asked him tonight to name a friend he likes to play with, he pointed to me. I love that when someone at my mom’s office asked him his name and he replied “sharkboy” – then she said she was “lavagirl” and he said, “no, my mommy’s lavagirl”. On vacation, when we were in the pool and he’d float a little away from me, he’d yell “come back! come back! You’re my best friend!”

I guess at some point if your son still thinks of you as his best friend it becomes a little creepy, but for now it makes me feel like the king of the world.

In other news, I’m writing a book. Before you get all excited and start searching Amazon for my name as the author, you should know only one copy will be printed. There is a book called “How I was Adopted” that I really like and it tells the story of how a girl named Samantha was adopted. Carter loves to read it and throughout it asks questions about his adoption that he can now readily answer. It’s simple and straightforward and I’m going to create one for him with is own pictures in it and change the words up a little to fit our story more. I’ll make one for Gracey, too.

I started a photo album / story book a long time ago but I was never really happy with it. I think I tried to give too much detail and this time around I’ll focus on keeping it much simpler.

Yep. That was me today. The school called about a half hour before I was to pick the kids up and let me know that Carter had another accident. She was calling because the teacher told her I wanted to be called…..but that was only if they thought he did it intentionally. Which, in this case, he didn’t. Not really, anyway. I’ve been a little emotional all afternoon but this just really capped it all off. I LOVE the lady I talk to all the time at the school, I think she is the secretary or something…I don’t know but I just love her and she adores Carter.

Phone rings. My heart drops when I see the number because I know it is the school. here is the conversation:

Me: hello
School: Hi, this is so and so from the school….
Me: CRAP! What do you want? (laughing, because I know her and she laughs too)
School: laughing, well, Carter had another accident today
Me: Was it on purpose?
School: Well, I don’t think so. Immediately afterwards he went and told the teacher so I’m thinking it wasn’t. He was on the playground.
Me: Okay. Thanks for letting me know. I was mainly wanting to be called if he did it on purpose.
School: The teacher said she had everyone go to the potty right before they went outside, but Carter refused to go.
Me: Wait. He REFUSED to go? Was that really an option? I mean, he’s 3.
School: Yeah, I hear you. I was wondering about that too.
Me: I’ve talked with the teacher about his before….he’ll always say no if you ask him but she has to make him go or he’ll have an accident. I don’t know what to do or how to explain this to her without stepping on her toes…..she must exercise her authority as the teacher and make sure he goes to the potty. It can not be optional with him.
School: I can take care of that, don’t worry. You’re right, he can’t just be given the option. He is not the only one that way and he needs supervision while he’s in there, too.
Me: Yes, I agree.
School: I’ll change him and we’ll see you in a bit.
Me: Okay, thanks.

I hang up the phone and I cry. I’m just so sick and freakin’ tired of hearing all the bad things (that are really relatively minor on their own, they just add up) he does. I can’t remember ever being told about something good he’s done at school and I’m just afraid that all the teachers see is the bad or frustrating things.

Carter has a lot of energy and I have no doubt that he gives his teachers a run for their money. But I need to know that his teachers adore him. If they don’t, they need to pretend. I have been very objective up until now and have listened openly and offered suggestions and reinforced at home….. I’ve done everything I can think of. Now I’m just sick of it. I hate taking him to school in the morning and I spend the day dreading the sound of my phone ringing. I get nervous about picking him up because I’m afraid of what they’ll have to say.

I think if I could just hear one thing good a long with the bad, then it would be better. Just reassure me that you are aware that Carter also has good behavior and is really sweet. I mean, do you not get that you are talking about MY BABY? Hell, I know he can be dififcult, I do live with him, after all. But I also know that while he can be a challenge, he also responds well to authority and praise. And he is really a very sweet kid. He’s just a little enthusiastic about life….

I have to say that his teacher is really nice. I am sure that she is doing everything she can and is frustrated a bit as well. I just need to know that she is able to see more than just the negative behavior. I also need to be confident that she knows how to be in charge of my son and not let him just do what he wants.

So, about the blubbering. I went in a little early to pick them up and stopped in the office. I really though I had it together but I walked in and immediately started crying. I’m sure I looked like a lunatic. We had a nice talk and they did tell me that the teacher had said up until that point he had a super day. The teacher told them before the accident she was all ready to tell me what a wonderful day he had. I was glad to hear that they told her “mommy still needs to hear that”. So I think they at least get it. They were very nice and supportive. I reiterated that I’m not complaining about the teacher that I think she’s nice, I just need to know that she is able to see the good and the bad, not just the bad.

Did I mention that I kept crying like a blubbering idiot? What an idiot. I really don’t know what came over me. I guess between Sunday School and preschool I’ve just about had it.

Okay, so as long as I’m complaining, let me add the Sunday School bit to it. First off, 3 is way too young to sit in a “children’s church” environment. PER EEE UUUDD You simply can not expect most 3 year olds to be able to sit still and quiet and just listen to a story in an auditorium like setting for more than a few minutes. Second, when Daddyo picked Carter up from Sunday School this past Sunday, they told him that Carter “poured his water out” TWICE. Okay, the first time he pours his water out, shame on Carter. The SECOND time he does it, shame on the teacher for freakin’ giving it back to him. They asked daddyo to bring a sippy cup for him next week. Sorry. Not going to happen. If Carter pours his water out then he just doesn’t need to have it. He’ll get it after having to go without once or twice.

And the Sunday before that when we were there, I left feeling like I just never wanted to go back. And I’m pretty heavily involved in our church. I can only imagine how the parents who might not be very involved felt if they got the same little speech I got. (I heard the same speech being given to another couple as I was leaving) Basically, it all boils down to children’s ministries needing more volunteers but the way it was brought up was just plain rude.

I LOVE my church. I know all churches have issues. I really enjoy the people at my church and what I feel is happening there. I just had a bad day. And I felt bad for the other parents who came after me who I hadn’t seen before. If they were new or visiting, I can promise you they will not be back. And I don’t blame them. Why is it that when adults behave poorly at church it hurts so much more than in other places? I guess the expectations are just higher.

So anyway, the really ironic part of that Sunday was I was listening to a grown up complaining about Carter’s behavior and exhibiting her own bad behavior as she did so. I really wanted to point that out, but it wouldn’t have been in Carter’s best interest. Not long ago, I listened to several moms answer the following question:

“When did you first really feel like a mom?” The answers varied from sleepless nights to vomit to poop. I really couldn’t think of an answer. I guess I “felt” like a mom long before I actually became one, because we prayed for so long and waited for so long. Now I know the answer. I know I am REALLY a mom because I am able to control my tongue in the best interest of my child. When I want to rip someone a new one, I am actually able to refrain from doing so because I know it will only count against Carter eventually. You see, all the rules about behaving nicely at church don’t apply to me – I’d really like to rip someone a new one. How’s that for irony?

I’m so thankful that I serve a God who offers me unconditional Grace. I pray He helps me offer that to others as well.

Okay, so I’ve been going to the gym regularly and all but today I actually started walking outside. UGH! I am pleased to report that I walked 1.5 miles in 20 minutes – with two kids! One in a stroller and one on a little Big Wheels thingy and we stopped twice to drink water. Not too shabby, but I’ve got a long ways to go.

What I really need is a double jogging stroller – those things are pretty stinking expensive, even at the resale shops. So, if you have one or know someone who does and it is just collecting dust, I’d love to borrow it!

Any I’m still taking sponsors, by the way.

"Samuel took a single rock and set it upright between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer (Rock of Help), saying, This marks the place where GOD helped us."

1 Samuel 7:12 The Message

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