You are currently browsing the archives for April, 2008.
Too much today to write about so I’ll keep it very short.
Encouraging information on baby.
Bad news on Stella.
Visit with an old friend.
Very bad news on my cousin.
Nice conversation with Carter.
Worse news on my sweet cousin.
I’m tired. I have really great friends.
Stella was taken from school to a shelter today. I don’t think she’s going back to her foster home but since her caseworker never bothered to call and update me I’m not sure. Stella is making her choices and her future is ultimately in her hands. But I have to say that I’m dishing out equal blame on her foster mother and on my coordinator for this one. Why don’t they understand that by telling her what she can’t do when she is just venting that they are doing more harm than good? She just needs someone to get her, to understand her. We can drag her kicking and screaming to school but it’s up to her to learn. I say let her make her choices. Inform her of the natual consequences of her decisions, but let her make the choices. I mean, she’s going to make them anyway! Offer guidance, sure. AARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!
My uncle and family are facing a heartbreaking situation with my sweet cousin. Pray for wisdom, courage, discernment and comfort. Pray for God’s presence to surround them in amazing ways over the next few days and weeks.
Overall I have to say CRAP DAY today.
Except for the conversation I had with the Adoption Lady who filled in some gaps on a recent upset at the agency. Made me feel much better about the “system” placing baby with us. That’s the slice of sunshine from today. That, and a short visit with a great friend I hadn’t seen in a while.
Sigh.
Time for sleep and wake up tomorrow to start all over again. 
Wow. I really got your attention in that last post, didn’t I? I appreciate the support and words of encouragement. I have no doubt that God will give us what we need to face whatever it is He brings to us. I do find myself quoting “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition present your requests to God” daily. Sometimes hourly.
The anxiety is not about how to handle three kids… it’s about whether or not we’ll even get the chance. His will, not mine. Please pray for the worker who will be writing up our homestudy. This process can take anywhere from 30-45 days and we really need it done asap. Pray for a sense of urgency.
We decided to take Carter with us on our little getaway. We just can’t leave him for four whole nights. It must sound terrible to say we can leave Gracey, but it’s a little different with her because we are all she’s ever known. I think SPeedy needs a little extra from us and I think this is just what the doctor ordered. We will all have a wonderful time and grandparents will have a blast with the little Gracey.
Stella. You haven’t heard much about her lately because she’s been doing really well. She’s been in the same foster home for FOUR months now and I’m thrilled. She looks amazing and has been doing really well. Last week, she turned 16. She decided she didn’t want to take her meds anymore so she is off of them now. I’m worried for how she’ll do without them.
I’m irritated that her foster mom (who overall is really great) did not know that as it stands now, Stella will not be considered a 10th grader next year if she doesn’t make up a half credit. She’s already a year behind and will turn 18 in her junior year. We mapped out an educational plan with her counselor but it’s going to be a lot work. I told her it was up to her to decide whether or not she wanted to do it. She told me today that she wants to quit school and does not want to attempt to graduate. Among other things, her plan right now is to get a job, get emancipated and move to Ohio. (puppy love)
What do you say to that? Telling her it isn’t realistic would not help her. So I just listened and told her it sounds like she’s got it all figured out. I told her that although the state could make her go to school, they couldn’t make her do the work and if she wanted to “quit” then that would be her choice. I casually mentioned that lots of people survive their whole life making only $8 an hour which is about what she can expect without a high school diploma. I suggested she do some research online to find out what it would take to get emancipated.
Understand this: I in no way want to see her make these choices. But she is 16 physically; 40 experience wise; 10 emotionally, etc… I can’t tell her what to do or how to do it. Me pointing out the absurdity of her plan will do nothing but make her angry and add fuel to the fire. Make her want to do it even more. So I just tried to listen and not ask too many questions. And not say all of the things that were coming to my mind. I’ve decided that the best thing I can do for Stella is to just be there. To listen and offer support and understanding when she needs it. There are enough people in her life pointing out the absurdity of plans and desires.
Here’s what really makes me angry. She called my coordinator and was very rude and ugly to her. My coordinator handled it poorly, in my opinion. Her immediate reaction was to revoke Stella’s priveledge of getting to travel with her aunt to go and visit some family in a neighboring state. Now, the reason is that she feels like Stella may not come back but I don’t think that’s a real issue. And I think my coordinator is giving Stella a consequence that takes away her right to see her family. And I don’t think it’s okay to do that. It’s not fair. Take away her Ipod, take away her phone, but don’t withdraw the opportunity to go and see her family. Not when you’ve already said she could go. Ugh.
Weekly Update and Random Thoughts
Posted April 15th, 2008 at 4:39 am. 9 comments
I don’t seem to find/make the time to update very much anymore. I blog several times a week in my head, but fail to get my thoughts to my fingers. Which is really irritating since I do hope to someday write a book.
Whatever.
Hmmm… now I forgot what I wanted to say. Sigh.
The kids are amazing. Growing more and more independent every day which is FABULOUS for mommy and daddy. Sad, but fabulous. Daddyo and I are leaving for four nights and as the trip gets closer, we are seriously considering taking Carter with us. He’d have so much fun and we just know he would LOVE the alone time with mommy and daddy. I think it would be really good for him to spend that time with us. We haven’t decided yet for sure.
Then there’s the whole baby thing. Maybe yes. Maybe no. Who knows? I’m still walking the fence. I can see myself carting a newborn around with Carter and Gracey, though. I can see and I love it. I can also see things staying the way they are now and I love that, too. We are truly happy with whatever God gives to us.
I am a little irritated these days, though. I know. You’re just overwhelmed with surprise that this chick is irritated at anything. When you get over the shock of that, you’ll unerstand. Maybe. I know there are people who don’t think I can handle three kids. It’s not the words that come out of their mouths but more what they don’t say. More what their tone says or their eyes. And I want to slap them. Really, really slap them. Because one, DUH! Who knows what they can or can’t handle it until it’s in their lap. And two, because not handling it will not be an option if it happens, you just do it. and three, because if I can handle a excessively hyper 2 year old and a newborn preemie with minor issues, I can handle adding another baby to my clan. I’ve had two years with Carter and Gracey. Adding a third will not be harder than starting with two the way we did. And if it is harder, it can’t be too much harder.
So give me a break. Have some faith in me. I may not do things the way you would do them. I may not do things the way you think they should be done. But that doesn’t mean I do things the wrong way. I have my struggles, sure, just like the next person. But I face them head on instead of pretending they aren’t there. I admit I need help when I need it. And boy do I sometimes need it. But that’s okay. It’s part of who I am. Admitting I have challenges doesn’t make me weaker. It makes me stronger. I am strong. I am capable. And most of all, I have God’s Grace to stand on.
I joke about having three kids and about how much it will suck to start all over again. I laugh about the torture we may be putting ourselves through. But you want to know my deep, dark secret truth? I’m delighted. I’m thrilled. I really hope we get to do it all over again. I’m not at all worried about the logistics of three kids. I’m not worried about how I’ll survive each day. We will do more than survive. There is room in my heart for one more and part of me is afraid that room will become a hollow place if it isn’t filled.
His will. Not mine.
In other news, I learned this week that there was very recently a case here in our area where CPS placed a newborn into a family different from the one who had the siblings. CPS knew the other family wanted to adopt the baby, but chose deliberately to place the baby in a different home. Unless there are some serious extinuating circumstances, that is an outrage to me.
Please pray that God will put the right people in the right places at the right times so we can bring our baby home.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Phillipians 4:6
Father, please protect our littlest child and keep him/her safe. Make a way for him to come home to us and thank you for the beautiful gift of this child.
Mundane Due Dates…
Posted April 7th, 2008 at 6:47 pm. 4 comments
I just can’t seem to get into the swing of things – blogwise. Most of life is pretty mundane right now and what’s not mundane is not something I really want to write about. Ironically, the blogs I most enjoy reading are those that lean more toward the mundane, day in and day out.
Carter’s in school and the little princess is napping away. I just mowed the yard. Seriously. I really did. We got a riding lawn mower and it’s now fun to do the yardwork. (part of it, anyway) I may even break out the weedeater this afternoon.
I’m trying to prepare the kids the best I can about a baby coming, but also preparing them for maybe not. It’s turning out to be a neat little exercise with Carter as we talk a lot about trusting God and being okay with wherever it is He leads us. Carter is dead set on this baby being a boy. Funny thing is I can’t even make myself look at little girl bedding, dresses, etc…. It’s not that I don’t want another girl, I really don’t care one way or another. I want a healthy baby. I think it would be neat to have a boy since I missed the first two years with Carter… then again, another girl wouldbe nice, too. It really doesn’t matter to me. But for some reason, I just keep thinking boy.
I have not yet purchased anything. Just not there yet. We have plans to rearrange…once again… and move my office back to the dining room. Converting my now office into a bedroom for Gracey and leaing the nursery as is. If you could only see my office, you would know why the thought of losing the storage space and moving it all is quite painful.
So have a few guesses on due dates.
My guess stands at May 12.
I have another from Sarah for May 15.
And May 27 from Judy.
And now we have May 9 from the girl next door!
PS – i am not superstitious. I know all of these dates are early and I hope baby goes full term, but us guessing isn’t going to change what happens. No harm in my opinion. Oh, and girl next door, you gave me serious knots in my stomach with that earlier guess!
Any other takers?
By the way, today birthmom is 30 weeks.
Oh, and PS…. I haven’t recommended a game in a long time but I have one now. I stumbled across this one and it is very cool and thought provoking. Puts Google to use and is really a new concept – at least as far as what I’ve seen!
We’re having a baby
Posted April 1st, 2008 at 4:13 pm. 4 comments
Well, I finally feel like we really are going to have a baby. I’m tracking baby’s progress and everything. LOL. What I mean is that I now have a due date. Right now, birthmom is 29 weeks pregnant, making her due on June 16. Ironically, June 16 is the birthday that daddyo and I share. I have no expectation of her making it to that date, but still I think it is way cool.
My money is on May 12 or somewhere closer to that.
Ready. Set. Baby.
Some of you may wonder what we’re doing to get prepared. Nothing, really. We have a bassinet and we’ll buy bottles when the time comes. We’ll have to go and get diapers, anyway.
God, please continue to protect this child from harm. Provide all the food and nutrition it needs and help this innocent little one to grow strong and healthy.