My Ebenezer

I’m cleaning out the old office and as some of you already know, I have an addiction to purses. It’s time for me to give up most of the collection so I’m giving one away here that I’ve never even used. It still has plastic on the handles. The purse has on zipper pouch on the inside and comes with a medium sized coin purse. So, if you want it, just leave a comment and I’ll put your name in a hat. I’ll draw a name eventually and then mail it to you when I get to the post office. (along with your book, Judy.)

Oh, and I should mention that although it looks like Coach and smells like Coach, it is definitely not Coach. It is a good knockoff, though, from Chinatown in NYC.

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here are some funny pictures of Speedy getting himself ready for special occasions:

Getting dressed for bed:
The underwear is to “help him breathe and keep the stink out”.. not sure how that works, especially since I don’t know if those were clean or dirty! Eeeew!

He really wanted to wear his Batman Cape to Music Camp that day. He picked out his clothes and tried so hard to be sneaky:

Getting ready to out and mow the grass with daddy. did it all himself:

Getting ready to go out and use the blower with daddy:

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When I saw the birthparents after court the other day, I gave them some photos of Speedy and Princess meeting Isaac for the first time. I also gave them some photos of just Speedy and Princess. They were excited to see them but never said thank you or even asked how any of them were doing. Several people have commented that they were surprised I would give them photos.

Why not?

Although I sometimes find myself getting angry and wanting to be mean when i think of the things I know they put my children through, I have to constantly remind myself that it is not my job to punish them. Just as Christ forgave me, it is my job to forgive them. And to love them. And despite the choices they have made, I know they are hurting deeply. I can’t imagine the emptiness their lifestyle fills them with or the ache that is left over after a high. My heart goes out to them.

It’s easy to believe that we are better than that and nothing like that could ever happen to us. We would never make those choices. But how do any of us really know how close we may have come? We may have been one friend away from a life of bad choices. We may have been one drink away from an addiction that would consume us. There is no way we can be sure how close we may have come.

It is not my place to stand in judgement of the birthparents or of anyone else. In fact, I am grateful to them. It’s a twisted kind of emotion that causes me to be grateful for the terrible choices they have made that brought my children home to me.

I’m not always good at living out God’s mercy and grace - most of the time I’d say I fail miserably. But I have prayed from the beginning that God would soften my heart toward them and I believe it has made all the difference. I need to pray that same prayer about a few more people in my life. (go on, I know you want to shout ‘Amen’) ha ha ha

Love is a funny thing. The people who are most difficult to love are usually the ones who need it the most.

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As I am catching up on blogs, I came across a post referencing this song.

It couldn’t be more perfect for the way I feel about my little Isaac. Part of the lyrics below.

Savage Garden: I knew I loved you

Maybe it’s intuition
But some things you just don’t question……

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There’s just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I’m searching for
I think I’ve found my way home

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I’ve found you

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

One week ago tonight, almost to the exact time, we met Isaac. We sat in the lobby of the hotel room with butterflies in our tummies watching the door for a caseworker and a baby. People came in and my heart would drop, but it wasn’t Isaac.

Then, just a glimpse through the door of a young lady carrying a little tiny baby beneath a blanket and walking towards the door. He’s here, I told Daddyo. I was nervous and excited and my eyes were glued to the door. As the case worker walked in we stood and introduced ourselves and I took baby Isaac in my arms.

And all was right in my world.

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is not caring that you waited until I had you all snuggled in the papouse thing to vomit all over me.

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So court was good today. Can’t give too many details, but here’s what I can tell you:

Birthparents will be offered services. It was explained to me that this will only strengthen the state’s case against them when it comes to the trial for termination. I am happy with this.

Visits are scheduled every other week for two hours. BUT, birthparents must take a drug test the morning of the visit and will only be allowed to visit baby Isaac if the results are negative. They will also be subjected to random drug testing. The Judge was very clear to point out that if they do not appear within four hours of the request for a drug screen, it is considered negative. Also, if there is anything that looks like they tried to “cleanse” their system, it will also be considered negative.

It is my guess that visits will not actually occur - at least not very often.

I kept my mouth shut in court but I wanted to speak up several times and yell BULLSH$T! Because they answered a question with something I knew was a lie. It made me so sad for them.

I am very happy with the case worker who is taking the case from investigation and know that she will be thorough.

Yay, God.

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Court was uneventful. Birthparents were there. more to come.

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We are on our way to court. Fun times.

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You are so adorable and so much fun to care for. You are even cute at 1:00am when you decide it’s a good time to play. While I am grateful you aren’t crying, 1:00am is sleep time, not play time.

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I went on craigslist to see if I could find some baby boy bedding for the new nursery. Imagine my surprise when the first add I looked at was for the boy bedding mentioned in this post. How could I not look into it?

By the way, I need some painters. I need to finish clearing out the old office (something I’ll have to do on my own), but then I need someone to help me paint and stuff. Any takers?

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