My Ebenezer

Dear Isaac,

Today, you are officially two months old and the cutest, most adorable baby boy I’ve ever met. I thank God every day for bringing you home to us and want you to know that you have been mine from the very beginning. When we first learned of you, of the possibility of you, a special place for you was created in my heart.

I prayed for nine months that God would move mountains to bring you into my arms and He was faithful as He always is. Our hearts were connected long before you were born; our paths were destined to cross. God had a plan for you - even from the very beginning as He was knitting you together in your birthmom’s womb. He made a place for you in our home and in our hearts, knowing you would need a mommy and a daddy once you made your grand entrance.

These letters usually contain cute little information about all the fun things a child is doing at this age and stage; all of the recent accomplishments, etc… Those are all fun and I’ll tell you that you are smiling and cooing and sleeping really good… but that’s not what I want you to know right now. It’s not what I want this first letter to be about.

I want you to know that despite the circumstances, you were loved from the very beginning. God held you in the palm of His hand while you were growing inside of a body that wasn’t protecting you. He kept you safe and whole and healthy. And all the while He was preparing my heart for you. We prayed Jeremiah 29:11 for you and trusted that God did have a good plan for your life.

The first six days of your life were the longest days of my life. I was beside myself with worry and anxiety and on my knees in prayer. I must have prayed more in those six days than I normally would have prayed in a whole year. Our families were praying and so were our friends - we prayed and God heard us. He kept you safe in an environment that wasn’t safe and He put just the right workers in the right places so you could come home quickly.

I will never forget the moment our investigative worker placed you in my arms. I thought I’d be elated or emotional. Maybe overwhelmed with joy. But all I felt was right. I felt like the child I’d been loving for nine months had finally found his way home and I could breathe again. That first night I held you on my chest and watched you sleep. I just kept thanking God for His Grace and His mercy. For His faithfulness.

I want you to know that God made a way for you to come home to me. He has been with you from the very beginning and has already displayed His faithfulness in your little life. My prayer for you is that you grow into a man who will stand firm on that faithfulness. A man who will find his sense of self worth in his creator and who will love Christ with all his heart, all his soul, and all his mind.

Mommy loves you. I always have and I always will.

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