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SUrely you remember the whole marathon fiasco last year… the one where I walked 13 miles for the benefit of Child Advocates and to the detriment of my feet? The one I didn’t train for? It seems I am now on the marathon track once again….but not to worry, I wasn’t stupid enough to sign up for another one. It’s just that these days life is like a marathon – and it isn’t the 3 kids factor, it’s just everything. We have something going on every day this week – outside of normal school. Crazy.
Today, it’s Granola with Grandparents and tomorrow is a teddy bear parade. Tonight is National Neighbor Night. Friday I have a Southern Living Party to attend (guess I better fill Daddyo in on that…oops.)
It’s just a little nuts around here. 
And welcome to my most boring post ever.
Take my breath away
Posted October 6th, 2008 at 6:55 pm. 2 comments
I’ve had this post stuck in my heart for a few weeks now, it’s taken me longer than I expected to write it. I admit I haven’t been very consistent in my writing lately but as you can imagine, things are a bit busier in the Ebenezer household than they were BI. (Before Mathew)
I’ve been getting pictures together (digitally) and organized and working on Gracey and Mathew’s adoption books. As I was going through one folder, I came across the pictures of the first night we met Mathew and it took my breath away. Even just remembering it makes my heart jump a little. It’s happened twice since then – the pictures pop up when I’m not expecting it (because I still haven’t filed them.. ) and my breath catches in my heart. I’m overwhelmed with those initial feelings of excitement as we traveled to New Branfels and the way my world stopped when the investigator spoke those three miraculous words on the phone, “Come get him.”
It was so different with Mathew than it was with Carter and Gracey. I knew about a specific child rather than a child(ren) in general… in theory. He was mine since the day he was conceived and I knew it. I prayed for it. My heart longed for him. Those 5 1/2 days after his birth when he was not in my arms were some of the worst of my life. Even now, as I look back on those days I don’t know how I functioned. I kept going and kept believing and kept trusting.. and most of all, I kept praying. But I was a wreck inside. Does it make any sense to say I was a peaceful wreck because that’s how it felt. I’m not sure anyone can understand (unless they have been in the same situation) to know that your child has been born but your arms are empty… and heavy… because he just hasn’t been able to come home yet. And to know that he is in grave danger.
The pictures don’t come close to capturing our hearts.
I just can’t imagine life without him.
Love
Posted October 3rd, 2008 at 12:38 pm. 2 comments
I am writing from my cell ….with my left hand. Gracey is in my lap. When she woke up, she told me her stomach hurt. She did not, however, tell me that if I gave her water she would throw it up all over me. Projectile style. Why don’t kids warn you about these things?