My Ebenezer

Without jinxing myself too much, Speedy is fully and completely potty trained and has been for some time now. He doesn’ even wear pull ups at night anymore. I honestly don’t remember the last accident we had.

We were playing out in the front yard earlier and he pulled his shirt up and started to assume the “potty position”. I said, “Speedy, if you need to potty go inside to the bathroom”. It is not uncommon for him to pee behind the bushes when we’re outside playing. It worked when we were in training and, honestly, it’s just easier than all of us having to go inside now. So I didn’t push it when he said he was going behind the bushes. I looked away for a minute and then when I looked back he had a funny look on his face and his pants were around his ankles. (not normal for peeing, he’s gotten quite good and only pulling out the necessary equipment and not even unbuttoning his pants)

I said, “Speedy, if you’re done, pull up your pants.” He said, (with eyes bulging a little) “I’m…..just…..going………ppp….ppoooooo”! “NOOOOO!, Speedy, we poo in the potty, not outside.” To which he replies, “unless we’re at Uncle John’s farm”. ha ha ha So I watched in horror as he pooped, standing behind the bushes. There was no squatting involved. At the same time, the little dog we are sitting ran across the street and was barking at some boys and I was trying to coral her as well.

Speedy somehow stepped in the poop and it also got on the back of his jeans (no squatting). Yuck. And let me just tell you, it STUNK! The story could end here, but what fun would that be?

We took off shoes and pants and went inside where he let me know he needed to go “finish”. I told him to stay on the potty until I got back there so I could clean his bottom. And here’s the really fun part. I told him to bend forward a little so I could wipe his butt - he bent over so far he had his hands on the floor. I had a great view. But hey, his butt is definitely clean now.

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Is anything more annoying that the constant drip drip drip of a leaky faucet? Okay, so maybe there are lots of things that are more annoying than that, but lately this one is really bothering me. The faucet in our bathroom has a little leak and daddyo hasn’t had time to fix it yet.

Of course, my thought is if you’re going to take it all apart to fix it anyway, we may as well look into some new faucets, right? Like aMoen faucet with some super cool features. And as long as we’re looking at new faucets, we may as well get the new tub you promised me when bought the house, SIX YEARS AGO. So maybe that isn’t exactly what you promised, but you did promise to upgrade the bathroom to at least a jacuzzi tub.

Boy, I sure could have used a big jacuzzi tub last night. Calgon, take me away. The kids and I were playing in the front yard yesterday when my neighbor came over for a little visit. As I was telling her about my day, she told me she had plenty of wine at her house and I was welcome to come over and help myself. I told her I may take her up on that after I got the kids in bed. Daddyo came home when I was bathing the kids and I could hear him laughing and talking to someone so I assumed he was on the phone. He came into the bathroom and told me that our neighbor had brought over some wine. I laughed and said, “she must really be feeling sorry for me after our conversation. I guess she could tell I wasn’t feeling so great.” I said this thinking she had brought over a glass of wine. Much to my surprise, she had brought over THREE BOTTLES of wine. Guess I was worse off than I thought.

So I got to enjoy a nice glass of wine while I took my bath in my old bathtub with a drippy faucet. Maybe two glasses. It was nice, but it would have been even nicer with a new Moen faucet. Perhaps you are wondering what was so bad about my day? Rather than tell you, I think it will be more fun for you to guess. See if you can complete the paragraph below:

When I picked Speedy up from school, his teacher said, “can you stick around for a few minutes?” OH CRAP. This can not be good. So I waited until she could talk with me and she explained that Speedy had……….

So what do you think Speedy did at school? LauraP, you can’t play this one since you already know. But how about the rest of you? We’ve been seriously lacking in the comments department lately, so take your best shot.

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So tomorrow is weigh in day. I’m not looking forward to it nearly as much as I was last week. I haven’t done terrible but I also haven’t done as well as I did week 1. I’m a little afraid that my numbers may not drop - it just doesn’t “feel” like I’ve lost anymore weight. Oh well, there’s always next week.

Right now Speedy is in his room having a fit because I closed and “locked” the door. Believe me, it is for his own safety right now. We had a great morning shopping and playing at the Mall until it was time to leave. When I told him it was time to leave the play area to go home, he RAN FROM ME! I didn’t chase him - I usually don’t, as a rule. Instead, I put Princess in the stroller and waved goodbye to Speedy as I walked away from the play area. This usually works like a charm.

He immediately came running and calling for me but when I stopped, he turned around and ran back to the play area. (I guess the little booger has finally caught on to my trick) So off I went again. (I had a friend still in the play area who was keeping an eye on him from a distance.) He would run to me and then run away before I could get him and we did this a few times. Finally, I said forget it. I turned around and walked off and didn’t look back. Not only did I not look back when I heard him calling for me, but when I turned the corner, I hid behind a wall so he couldn’t see me when he made the turn. Surely, he’d freak and run right to me when I stepped out, right? WRONG! He did freak, but when he got close to me he refused to get on the stroller and would not get close enough to hold my hand. So I walked out of the mall. I could hear his little footsteps trailing behind me, just far enough to maintain his independence, and I walked towards the parking lot. I didn’t know what I would do when I got to the parking lot because I couldn’t let him walk far behind me with all the cars. Thankfully, he must have been thinking the same thing because he came and got on the stroller when I stopped at the edge of the parking lot.

Mommy definitely needed a time out at this point. But we were all stuck in the car for another thirty minutes. He must have known I was pretty upset with him because when I said, “mommy needs some quiet time on the way home - no talking” he actually kept pretty quiet. He went straight to bed when we got inside and I told him his door would stay open as long as he stayed in his bed. Guess how long he stayed in his bed? 5 seconds.

So here we are. He’s screaming and crying and having a total fit in his room and I’m blogging about it. But I’m not irritated anymore. I’m just shaking my head wondering why it is so hard for him to submit to authority….then I remember he’s my son afterall and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I’m sure God is wondering the same thing about me - why is it so hard for me to submit to His authority sometimes?

I know the end result will be the same for me as it is for SPeedy. I’ll be the one throwing a fit and crying and all upset and He’ll be blogging about it. No wait. That’s probably not exactly how it will work.

On a brighter note, this morning Speedy finished his toast and asked for more. I very non-chalantly said, “go poop on the potty and I’ll make you another piece of toast”. Off he went to the bathroom as I remembered I didn’t have his little seat set up. By the time I got to the bathroom, he was balancing on the big potty and POOPING! Go Speedy, go!

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Overheard yesterday in the van:

Speedy: Where is God?
Me: Where is God, Speedy?
Speedy: He’s all around us. He loves us best.
Me: That’s right.
Speedy: he can hear me?
Me: Yes, He loves it when you talk to Him and He always listens to you.
Speedy: Gawd, peas help me have bedient heart and help me not get in trouble anymore.

We’ve been talking a lot lately about what it means to have an obedient heart and how God wants us to obey with a happy heart. Sometimes I think I tell him things he can’t possibly understand and then I see a small glimpse of his ability to absorb it. I’m going with the notion that Speedy understands a lot more than I know and if he doesn’t, what harm is done, right?

Sigh. I love that kid.

We went swimming in the neighborhood pool today - twice, actually. We went before lunch but it started raining after we got there. Lucky for us, the rain waited until we’d all gotten into the pool ……. nice. Speedy climbed up the diving board and walked to the edge (it’s about 3 feet off of the water) but then turned around and decided he didn’t want any part of that. When we went back after lunch, there were a few boys running and jumping off the board and laughing like crazy. Speedy pointed and said, “I want to do that, mommy”! So we walked over there and I was fully prepared to back everyone up so he could climb back down. That kid walked fearlessly to the edge of the board and did not even hesitate before he jumped off into the water. All it took was for him to see someone else doing it and having fun. No fear.

Spending time at the pool today really warmed my heart. The older boys who were there were probably 11-13 years old and they were all so nice to Speedy. They had a bunch of bouncy balls they would bounce off the diving board and then try to catch them before they hit the water - of course, Speedy was mesmorized. He just watched them and laughed and laughed. When one of the balls bounced outside the pool, Speedy ran to get it. As he was taking it back to the boy, the boy was calling out to his friend, “hey, get me another boy so he can have one to play with.” He told Speedy to keep the ball and he’d get another one. It’s such a silly little thing but it still just about brings tears to my eyes. I guess I just haven’t been around many 11-13 year old boys who would even think to give a little kid something to play with. It was just really sweet.

And then right before we were leaving, Speedy was climbing up the ladder to go down the slide (he’d done it several times already) when he FELL from about 8 feet! Yes, you read that right, EIGHT FREAKIN’ FEET! I was in the water waiting to catch him and felt like Jesus when I saw him fall. I must have walked on the water to get out that fast and get over to him. All the boys who were there were right by him asking if he was okay. He was fine, it just scared the crap out of him (not to mention the massive coronary it almost gave me). Once we all knew he was fine, just a little shaken up, the boys started clapping for him and telling him how tough he was. Again, it was sweet the way they went out of their way to be nice to him. Although he wanted to go up the slide again my heart just couldn’t take it. (now he’ll probably never do it again - but I’m okay with that)

It’s funny. I don’t usually panic or get overly concerned with Speedy falls or bumps his head. Things that I see some other mommies really freaking out about don’t usually upset me. I always feel like the calmer I am, the calmer he will be and I can more easily determine if he is really hurt. And I guess I didn’t outwardly freak when he fell today, but it really scared me. I’m glad I was able to keep my cool and talk calmly to him while I was feeling his arms and watching the way he was standing to make sure nothing was broken. But on the inside, I felt a kind of scared I’ve never felt before. My heart still hurts thinking about it.

Little Miss Princess had a ball at the pool. She loves it when I dunk her under the water and I’m amazed at how well she holds her breath. She seems to have Speedy’s lack of fear and even tried to push away from me a few times so she could “do it herself”. But the only thing she can do herself is sink. She giggled and laughed and burped in a way that would shame any grown man. I was so proud.

At the risk of jinxing myself, Speedy hasn’t had an accident in a few days and managed to poop on the potty all day today. (though mommy almost pooped her pants today when he fell) He claps and is just so pleased with himself when he does it.

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Just in case you don’t know the lyrics to this song, I’ll spare you the rest.

If I could figure out how to get music to play here, you’d be listening to some rendition of “Celebrate good times, come on!”

I awoke this morning to the sound of Speedy saying “poo poo”. He was in Princess room playing with her and daddyo and I were still in bed. Hearing this is never a good thing. Then I hear, “Mommeeee! I need to poo poo in da potty but there’s a roach in the way!”

What the heck?

I got up to see what all the fuss was about and there was a dead roach in the doorway to the bathroom. (ECK!) I helped him manuver around the offending roach and he sat on his little potty and pooped. YES! HE DID! HE POOPED! Not only did he know he needed to poop, but he held it until I got there to get him around the ugly roach.

And he has successfully pooped in the potty FIVE times this morning - and we’ve only been up for 3 hours. He does seem to have a bit of an upset stomach. *grin* but it’s working wonders for potty training.

So here is my advice: If you are trying to teach a little boy to poop on the potty, pray he gets diarrhea.

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YES! We have poo poo in the potty again today!

Today was a pretty good day but I was exhausted by the time daddyO got home. It was bath time so I got the kids in and then asked if he would take over bathtime and bedtime while I took a hot bath. DaddyO is wonderful about helping out around the house and especially with the kids. He does a great job. But usually I’d feel guilty about leaving him with bath AND bedtime duty all alone. He gave me a very reluctant “yea, babe” so I thanked him and walked out. I stepped back in for something and he said, “where are you going?” DUH! You said you didn’t mind taking care of the kids so I could go and relax! I guess he didn’t think I’d take him up on it.

I’ve learned that every once in a while it’s okay to let him do it all for an evening. Just that extra 45 minutes gave me a nice breather and I was even done in time to take care of Speedy’s bedtime routine. And I was able to enjoy it. It’s not that I ever thought him incapable, it’s just that I’d feel guilty about having him do it when he’d been working all day. But heck, I work all day, too!

Did I mention we had poop IN THE POTTY today? And daddyO wasn’t even here.

Speedy was rather michevious today and got in trouble on a regular basis. Towards the end of the day after I had just fussed at him about something or other he said, “you love me when I have baaaaaaad behavior. you love me no matter what.” That’s right kid, I love you no matter what. For always.

If you don’t have the children’s book, “No matter what”, I highly recommend it. It’s a great tool in teaching preschoolers about unconditional love. Speedy is obviously getting the message.

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or not. Speedy has pooped again on the potty. I guess it is a guy thing and he’ll only do it for DaddyO. So today, I picked up turds off the floor yet again - but at least they were fallen turds and not intentional turds. If that makes any sense. Anyone else ready for the potty training phase of my life to be over? I know you’re tired of hearing about crap - I’m tired of picking it up.

Have I mentioned that Princess is in to EVERYTHING these days? She totally cracks me up when she shakes her head and says, “nooooo” to just about anything you ask her. I know it won’t be funny for long, but right now it is really cute. She loves playing in the water outside and holds her own with Speedy.

Tomorrow is another day at gymnastics. I couldn’t even bring myself to write about it last week because I was so mortified at Speedy’s behavior. My sweet, although often energetic, child was ALL OVER THE PLACE at gymnastics. They sit in a circle and warm up for the first 10 minutes or so and I stopped counting when Speedy jumped up and literally ran around the room until he was caught by a teacher four times. Do the math. At one point, there were three “assistant coaches” chasing him around the gym and as soon as they’d get close, he’d take off like a rocket. I sat in a corner in utter despair as I got the evil eye from the other parents. I can only imagine what they were thinking, “poor kid, he must not get any discipline at all at home” or “that kid needs a good spanking…” or even, “man, he is FAST.” LOL

They kept trying to redirect him and get him back in the circle but he thought it was much more fun to run around the gym and see how many of the different stations he could climb on before they caught him. Once they started working the different stations, he did a little better. Only had to sit in time out THREE times. (none of those three times were for his running around in the beginning) Did I mention the class is only 50 minutes long?

After class, we had a little talk and he went and apologized to his teachers for not listening. And I apologized, too. Profusely. And then I slinked out of there. What is my solution to this? I convinced a friend of mine who has a little boy we’ll call k-man to sign up, too. K-man and Speedy are two peas in a pod - they have about the same energy level and the same attention span so one of two things will happen. Speedy and K-man will sit next to each other and do well together or they’ll both be running around the room. Either way, it’s a win win situation for us - at least Speedy won’t be running by himself.

Last week, I finally stepped outside - I couldn’t even watch. It was difficult for me to watch him misbehave and not do anything about it. I could have stepped in and disciplined him myself, but I really don’t think it would have helped. I think he has to learn when he is other places that there are rules he has to follow. I can’t be with him 100% of the time to make him behave, at some point he’s got to control his on behavior. I know, he’s only three. But I think following simple rules in gymnastics class is as good a place to start as any. It’s a safe place for him to face consequences of not following the rules.

But hey, what the heck do I know? This kid’s instruction book got lost before he got to me.

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Current Mood: Esctatic

At dinner Saturday night, daddy looked at Speedy and said, “what are you doing?” (as he watched Speedy do something with his food) And Speedy replied, “I’m just being like you, daddy.” Because he was mimicking exactly what Daddyo was doing at the time. Speedy has often done things like that but hearing him say the words really struck daddyo’s heart. He told me later that night as we were preparing our Sunday School lesson that he couldn’t help but think about Speedy’s words. He said, “you know, he wants to be just like me. That’s why I need to try to be just like my Father.” He went on to say how we should all be more childlike in our faith and in the way we try to imitate Christ in our daily lives.

Not to take away from the importance of this special moment for him, but this morning Speedy gave daddyo the best FAther’s Day present we could have asked for. He pooped! In the potty! With daddyo’s encouragement. That’s right. I’m thrilled that he went on the potty - but I have to admit I am also a tiny bit irritated that after all my prompting and encouraging and praising and reinforcing that it was daddyo who got him to do it. It’s like the stupid jelly jar you can never open. You twist and pry for an hour and then hand it to someone else who opens it with barely any effort at all and gets all the credit for opening the dang thing - nevermind the fact that you loosened it. ha ha ha I’m just thrilled that we had poop in the potty - TWICE today. We sang, we danced, we whooped, we hollered, we gave him presents, we told everyone. And he was quite proud of himself. I know we aren’t there yet, but we’re one step closer. Hooorah!

Like I said before, it was a great weekend. Happy Father’s Day to all of you dads out there - whether you are a dad because of biology, adoption or even just circumstance.

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Speedy was doing so well with potty training and now it seems to have all gone to heck. He pooped on the floor again this morning but I wasn’t sure if he actually pooped on the floor or if he pooped in his pants and the turd just kinda rolled out. yes, I really had to contemplate that this morning. Not only that, but later today he climbed into Princess’ crib when she woke up from her nap and he pooped his underwear while he was in there. I looked up and he was doing the legs apart, “i’ve got crap in my pants” stance so i knew I was in trouble. He started to wiggle and I picked him up as best I could, trying not to initiate any “rolling out of the underwear” movement. It started out great but then we made it to the hallway and all of a sudden I kicked something. It rolled, but it just didn’t feel right. I looked down and sure enough….I was playing soccer with king sized turd.

I guess I should be thankful that he’s “laying eggs” instead of squirting pudding but I’m really tired of this CRAP! Anyone hungry yet? Eggs? Pudding? UGH. Poor Speedy even had several accidents with just pee today. It just wasn’t a good day for potty training.

Tomorrow will be better. We’ll be in the water a lot so who cares if he pees there, right? At least the water won’t be too cold.

Sigh.

In other news, Daddy-o has shingles. I thought that was an old person’s disease. Seriously. What does that mean? “Shingles” is just chicken pox in one location on your body that hurt like HELL. I’ve heard lots of pros and cons about whether or not to immunize kids for chicken pox - add to the PROS list that if they never get chicken pox then they’ll never get shingles when they are older. Anyway…

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You know the rest.

Two accidents before 9am this morning and one incident of crapping on my carpet again. Neither of those tops the fact that I caught Speedy trying to use a drumstick as a rectal thermometer on Princess. Thank God his aim was WAAAAAAY off. I swear, I really do watch these kids.

More later. I’m tired.

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