Statistically speaking
Tags: Adoption, Foster Care, Foster Care; Adoption
Posted: June 3, 2005 at 3:51 pm
There are so many children in and around the Houston area who are awaiting adoption. We hear about the statistics in class but i never remember them so i’ve finally looked them up. You can see for yourself the sad reality of these orphans. They are, in fact, orphans. They have no parents – if they are awaiting adoption, their parents’ rights have been terminated. We don’t often hear about orphanages here in the US, but we definitely have orphans. These are the kids in the Houston area – this list does not include even all of Texas. 800 kids awaiting adoption. 800. Eight hundred children without families to call their own. 800 reasons to pray. I ask you often to pray for us and our children – today I’m asking you to do something different. Stop right now, wherever you are and whisper a prayer for these kids. Many of them will never have parents to call their own. Sure, they’ll be taken care of “by the system”, they’ll be prepared for life on their own. Where will they go for the holidays?
What traditions do you have for the holidays? Many of these kids have none. Where did you go to first grade? Do you remember your teacher’s name? Do you have a photo of your first day of school? Many of the kids do not. Do you know stories of things that happened when you were born or were a toddler? Maybe funny things you said or did? Many of these kids do not.
A few days ago, i was having a hard time thinking of something to inspire me. Today, i can think of 800 reasons.
PS Here are the statistics for all of Texas.
tags: Foster Care, prayer 1 comment
And so it began
Posted: January 23, 2006 at 10:53 pm
Today was a success as far as the whole diet thing goes. But I have to tell you I am a little angry at the people who make labels for the foods we eat. Sometimes, they just plain lie. For example, a Lean Pocket claims it is low fat and so I assumed I was eating fairly healthy when I had one for lunch. Then I decided I would check the points with my Weight Watchers point calculator thingy and one of those tiny little things was was a little less than 1/3 of the points I’m allotted per day! WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?
Anyway. Weight Watchers. I’ve been a weight watcher for about the last 3 years. ONly, I’ve been watching my weight go up instead of down. I don’t think that is what the program is intended for. Did you know that regarldless of how much “stuff” you purchase from weightwatchers, you won’t actually lose any weight unless you follow their stinkin’ plan? That just doesn’t seem right.
We went to a meeting tonight for “waiting families” at our agency. It was mostly a waste of time but we showed our smiling faces, etc… etc… etc…. We absolutely love our caseworker and she was there, she asked us to go and that is mainly why we went. They pretty much told us stuff we already knew but we did get to see their statistics for children placed last year. Most of them were children ages 2 and younger.
Here’s a disturbing thought. The intake worker for foster care said that she turns away opportunities to place infants on a regular basis bc she doesn’t have enough families willing to take babies for foster care. That just sucks. We’ve talked about doing foster care, which could turn into an adoption but it is a higher risk. We could control some of that risk by only accepting placements that the workers thought had a good chance of turning into adoption, but it would our hearts on the line. Please pray for God’s infinite wisdom and discernment on this matter. We’re not sure what to do. It’s incredibly scary.
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tags: Foster Care, UnCategorized 3 comments
One last sleepy thought
Tags: Foster Care
Posted: February 9, 2006 at 9:48 pm
We have the best friends and family ever. Everyone has been so incredibly supportive and we love you all so much!
Lots of people are very curious about Carter’s background and why he is in care. They are equally curious about Gracey and her story. We completely understand your curiosity and will tell you what we can. But this is not our story to share and we want to respect the privacy of our babies.
Another thing that people keep asking about is how long before we know if they will be ours forever. That’s a tough question to answer because we aren’t sure ourselves. We are looking at this as though they are our forever children and if that doesn’t end up being the case, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. God has brought us a long way and He will give us what we need to make it through the next step. Afterall, Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’”
God knows what He is doing. I believe these are our forever kids. I’m praying that. I’m praying every night that God allows us to keep them. I’m also praying for their birthfamily and their caseworkers…..for everyone involved that we all see what is best for the children. I’m praying more than anything else that God’s will is done. Am I a little nervous? Sure. But I am walking by faith. God is so good.
Oh yeah, one more thing, with Gracey coming home tomorrow, I don’t know how much time I’ll have to post. ha ha ha I’m going to try to get some pictures of their hands and feet to post here. I won’t post any pics of their faces until the adoption is finalized. I’ll check back in when I can.
Bonified
Tags: Foster Care
Posted: February 20, 2006 at 9:16 pm
As I sit here surfing the internet with Gracey strapped to my chest and her pacifier in my mouth (the handle only), I realize that my life has officially changed. Not that I didn’t realize it before, I think I keep having these realizations. Like today on the toilet.
I guess you realize when you have kids that is just isn’t about you anymore. Maybe it never was.
I can’t remember if I blogged about this or not and I’m too lazy to look it up so here goes. People keep asking about SPeedy and Gracey and about their history and birthfamilies. Everyone wants to know what the situation is and whether or not we’ll get to keep them forever. The honest answer is we just don’t know. We know a little about their history but we aren’t sharing that everyone. It’s their story to tell when and if they choose. We are sure we’ll get to keep them forever. We think we will. The chances are good that we will. But we aren’t sure.
We are praying for God’s perfect will. We are trusting Jeremiah 29:11, where we are told, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’” God has brought us a long way on this journey – He is not going to leave us now. His faithfulness has been so incredibly evident every step of the way. We don’t know what is going to happen next month. But we trust that God has it all in the palm of His mighty hand.
There is a court hearing at the end of March that will determine a lot. We’ll know more then and we’ll share what we can. Most of all, we hope you will join us in praying for what is best for these kids. It would be so easy for me to ask you to beg God on our behalf to let us keep these babies. I’ve done so many times already myself. We want them like we’ve never before wanted anything. But it’s not about us, it’s about them and it’s about Him. We are praying for what is best for these children. We are also praying for their birthparents. Whatever happens, God will give us what we need to get through it.
We believe these kids are our forever kids. I feel it in my bones. I pray I’m right about that. We are loving them as though they have always been ours.
Another thing people ask about is visits with the birthmother/father. When children are in foster care, they typically get weekly or every other week supervised visits with birthparents. So far, we haven’t heard anything about visits but we do expect them to happen. The selfish part of me wants to hope that they don’t happen, but again, it isn’t about me anymore. I do hope they have at least one visit and I hope I have the opportunity to meet their birthmom. I want to be able to tell them one day what color her eyes are or that they have her smile.
I’d love to get a picture of her with them. One day they will want to know and I want to have answers.
First Visit
Tags: Foster Care
Posted: February 23, 2006 at 6:22 pm
Tomorrow we have our first visit with Carter and Gracey’ mother. We’re excited and nervous and mostly just curious. Pray that God will open our hearts to her and help us share His love by meeting her without judgement. Pray that Carter will be okay with the visit. Pray that we focus on what is best for the kids and not on how we may be feeling.
We are praying for a positive relationship with their mother. There are so many things we are asking God for, it feels like we are asking for the impossible – for one miracle after another. In Matthew 19:26, Jesus says, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible .”NKJV We are claiming that truth as we seek what is best for Carter and Gracey.
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
The Visit
Tags: Foster Care
Posted: February 25, 2006 at 11:32 am
Thank you for praying faithfully for us yesterday as we went to our first visit. I know God was with us and after a little initial nervousness, I was completely relaxed. We got to meet birthmom and birthdad, maternal grandmother and paternal grandparents. All went very well.
For privacy reasons, I can’t really say much about the visit or the people involved. I will tell you that we feel even better at our chances for adoption based on this visit. The best news is that I got pictures of everyone so I will have them for the kids.
The next big step is a meeting on Tuesday that will give us even more of an idea as to what will happen. So, if I could continue to beg for your prayers, please pray for the meeting this Tuesday at 1pm. Pray for everyone involved – that we will all seek what is best for these precious babies. We are a little apprehensive about this meeting – right now the birthfamily doesn’t seem to realize the severity of this situation but I believe that will be made clear at this meeting.
I’ll keep you posted as much as I can. Just know that Carter and Gracey are fine – there was really no response at all to the visit from them. Carter continues to be his hilarious and fun-loving self and Gracey is growing by the minute. I can’t wait until I can really share pictures of them – they are so beautiful! And so much fun!
I heard Daddy-O talking to Gracey last night: “Hi little Gracey…..you know, mommy used to be the princess before you came along. Now she’s the Queen and you’re our little Gracey.”
Also, when Daddy-O came home from work on Thursday, I brought Carter outside and I said, “go give daddy a big hug and a kiss”! He ran squealing to Daddy-O and jumped up into his arms. I don’t know who was smiling more, Daddy-O or Carter.
All is Good
Tags: Foster Care
Posted: February 28, 2006 at 5:49 pm
There aren’t details we can share from today’s meeting – just that it continues to “look good” for us. Everything was fine. Thank you for your prayers.
I’m considering taking this site offline for a while. For privacy reasons, I just want to make sure we aren’t “found” by the birthfamily in this situation. Anyway, one thing I may do is create another site that will be password protected – I know that is a pain, but if you want the address and password, email me and I’ll be sure to get it to you. I’m probably being a bit overprotective, but I want my kids safe. I stupidly said something about a blog where they could overhear me and I have no idea if they are computer literate, but it’s just not a risk I’m willing to take. So, ya, I’m going to move to a password protected site. Let me know if you want to come along!
Protected: One small step….
Posted: March 6, 2006 at 1:28 pm
Well, I found out today from Carter and Gracey’s caseworker that the primary goal for them is adoption. The secondary goal is reunification. From what I understand, the goal usually starts out as primary reunification and secondary adoption so we think it is good news that theirs is the other way around.
It’s not reason to start giving them our last name, but it is definitely reason to celebrate and thank God. We are praying for a fast track for both children, so that they might become eligible for adoption in as little as six months. It may be a long shot, but with God everything is possible.
On another note, I almost called Carter, “Carter” today instead of calling him by his real name. That made me laugh.
This morning, I told Carter that we were going to visit Oma (Toolman’s grandmother) and he got really excited and started saying, “Elmo Elmo Elmo!” He’s been to visit Oma before so I tried to tell him we were going to see Oma, not Elmo, but I think he was still a bit disappointed when we got to her house and Oma walked out (rather than Elmo). Poor kid. 
tags: Carter, Foster Care, UnCategorized 2 comments
Servers out to get me
Posted: March 9, 2006 at 9:17 pm
I just typed this really long post about King Jehoshaphat and our visit today and blah blah blah….and the server went down and it didn’t get saved. Dang! So here’s the short version:
- visit went fine today
- I’m struggling with visits; they make my stomach hurt
- Carter did fine today
- I’m think my struggle is really just about fear
- only thing that makes me feel better is to focus my eyes on the cross
- Verses I’m leaning on now:
I can’t bullet these, that seems sacreligious somehow: 2 Chron 20:17 17 You won’t have to lift a hand in this battle; just stand firm, Judah and Jerusalem, and watch GOD’s saving work for you take shape. Don’t be afraid, don’t waver. March out boldly tomorrow — GOD is with you.” (from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)
tags: Foster Care, UnCategorized 5 comments
Family Visit
Posted: March 18, 2006 at 10:32 pm
Thankfully, Toolman took the kids to the visit this week since I was working! 
It was nice to have a week off from than insanity.
While he was there, someone told Carter to go to his daddy and Carter smiled, pointed at Toolman and said, “Daaa eeeee” as he reached for him. Obviously, this is not what they were going for.
“Granny” was upset and asked what Carter calls us. Toolman told her and she was even more upset. He explained that at this young age, it is important for Carter to call us mom and dad. And that is what we’ve been told in our training.
In an interesting turn of events, Gramps told toolman that he could tell Carter was really being loved.
We go to court this coming Tuesday and I’m not sure what, if anything, we’ll learn. I think this court appearance is really just for the judge to “bless” the current plan for the parents and lay out a timeframe or something. I don’t know. I’m not sure if this is even when it could possibly happen, but the absolute BEST that could happen on Tuesday is that the judge decides to fastrack both Carter and Gracey which could have both them eligible for adoption in as little as four months. That’s what we’re praying for. With God, everything is possible.