So lucky
Posted: April 19, 2007 at 3:17 am
Sometimes it still hits me – I have a son and a daughter. You’d think I’d be used to it by now but I’m not. A daughter. A son. Wow.
I’ve been meaning to tell you that Gracey is talking now – or at least she is saying a few words. She’s been saying “ma ma” for a while now but recently she has added “Carter Carter” (this is what she calls Carter) and “hat” and “Bye bye” (i think those were her first real words) and now she also says, “hi”. I can get her to repeat me or to attempt to repeat me on just about anything but those are words she seems to really know.
We’re still not walking but we’re getting closer. Sometimes I worry a little that she’s not walking yet, but I know she will when she is good and ready. I actually think she could walk now if she wanted to. Gracey is very sweet and affectionate – when I’ve been gone or in the other room for a while and I go in the room where she is, she’ll immediately crawl to me with a huge smile on her face and give me a hug. (her version of a hug is to lay her head up against you.) There is no doubt that girl loves her mommy and no doubt I love her.
Poor Carter must have fallen out of his bed tonight because when I went to check on him he was curled up and asleep on the floor. He never cried or fussed so I’m thinking he must not have woken up – he didn’t wake up when I picked him up and put him back in bed. He’s really such a sweetheart, too. He almost always tells me “thank you” when I bring him his sippy cup or something else he wanted. This morning we went to the grocery store and I wasn’t feeling all that great (sinus thing) and was a little grumpy. After fussing at him a little for not moving as fast as I wanted him too, he said, “mommy, did you get mad with me?” I just looked at him and said, “Carter, I’m sorry, mommy doesn’t feel good today and I just don’t have a lot of patience.” His response? “here, mommy,” as he puts his fist out, “you can have some of my patience.” 
How did we get so lucky?
tags: Gratitude, Love for us 3 comments
My Father’s Delight
Posted: April 11, 2007 at 2:48 am
I don’t think I ever really understood the meaning of the word delight until I had kids. There is no better way to describe how I feel when I watch Carter do something clever or funny…..or when I watch Gracey squeal and crawl to me as fast as she can because she is so excited to see me when I’ve gone.
So many times in the Bible, God calls us His children. Does He really feel about me the way I feel about Carter and Gracey? It’s hard to imagine that He takes the same delight in me – if not more – that I take my children. It absolutely fills my heart when Gracey is just overjoyed to see me and runs – okay, crawls – as fast as she can to reach me. It gives me a small glimpse of how God must kneel down with His arms wide open just waiting for us to run and jump into them – waiting for us to squeal with delight at the sight of Him. I wonder if He sits and just watches us do normal things and is so delighted with us when we do.
I’m so pleased with Carter uses his manners without being reminded – when he says “May I please” instead of “give me!” I wonder if this is how God feels when I pray, “not my will but Yours” instead of “Lord, please give me….” Or when I catch him being kind to Gracey – surely that is similar to how God feels when He catches us being kind to one another.
I’ve often heard people ask how there could possibly be a God who would allow such horrible things to happen. Then I think about times Carter or Gracey have been right next to me and have fallen and gotten hurt. I just wasn’t fast enough to catch them – not that God is ever unable to do anything. But I can easily compare how sometimes maybe God doesn’t just “allow” something but instead just doesn’t prevent it. I don’t know if that makes sense to you or not, but it does to me. Because whenever my kids are hurting I am right there to pick them up and kiss their boos boos. And when they really hurt, I hurt too. My heart breaks every time theirs does. Surely God’s heart, which has a much greater capacity for love also has a much great capacity for hurt. Yet He loves anyway, as do we as parents.
As I write this, I can’t help but think not only of the hurt my babies may face today but also of the heartache I know they’ll face tomorrow. When they are old enough to understand more about their beginnings – there is great potential for much heartache there. I could make up a pretty story about how they came to be ours but I love them too much to do that. I know that even though it may hurt them for a while, that truth will make them stronger and I pray will help them experience God’s love on a deeper level. And you can bet I will be there every step of the way.
Some people ask how God can let some things happen. I can’t help but ask how anyone survives without believing in God to pick them up and kiss all their boos boos away.
He will, you know. It may take some time, but He can turn ALL things to good.
My God is just cool like that.
tags: Love for us 2 comments
Obedience
Posted: February 5, 2007 at 8:33 pm
Yesterday and today Carter has really been pushing the limits. He’s got a little cold and I guess that makes it difficult for him to hear what I’m saying or something. After correcting him for what seemed like the millionth time this afternoon, I thought to myself that life would be easier if he would just blindly obey me.
If only he would always do exactly as I say, when I say it, not only would my life be eaiser, but his would, too. In fact, while it may seem to him that I am restricting him, if he would obey me completely, he’d actually have a lot more freedom. Afterall, I’m implementing rules and regulations just to torture him, everything is for a reason – either safety, basic life skill training or even character building, but it is all for a purpose. Why doesn’t an almost 3 year old get that?
Hmmmm
Why can’t I get that? I mean, my Father wants me to obey Him blindly. I even understand and know that I will have more freedom if I do. Yet, still, I don’t always listen and obey. He’s not out to get me anymore than I’m out to get Carter.
Funny how I can feel so exasperated with his behavior at times, but he’s only 2 (almost 3) years old. Imagine how exasperating it must be for our Father?
_______________________________________________
Conversation with Carter after reading a todler Bible story:
Me: The best gift God gave us is Jesus. Carter, what is the best present you’ve ever gotten?
Carter: Mommy
Me: Mommy? I’m the best present you ever got?
Carter: Nooooo
Me: Okay, so what is the best present you’ve gotten?
Carter: Mommy!
And before reading one of our favorite books, “Happy Adoption Day”
Me: Carter, what does ‘adoption’ mean?
Carter: JUDGE!
Me: What will the judge say?
Carter: Happy Family DAY!!!!! YAY!!!!
tags: Carter, Love for us, Obedience 1 comment
Wisdom
Tags: Adoption
Posted: January 24, 2007 at 9:30 pm
I went to the first in a series of Beth Moore bibles studies last night. This is one of her live events where she is basically doing a sermon series on the book of Proverbs. It’s called, “Wising Up” and the focus is learning how to get wisdom. Duh.
If you’ve never had the chance to do any of her studies, I encourage you to find one and get involved. Her writing is very easy to follow and it’s impossible to listen to her speak about the word of God and walk away unaffected. This woman glows with God’s love.
As I said, you can’t leave one of her “sermons” or listen to one of her DVDs without being affected – and if you can, you weren’t paying attention. There are several things that came out of last night’s session that really caught my attention:
“In any situation, if God doesn’t give you skills to succeed, then He wants to give you skills to leave!”
“God can give you insight to make decisions based on things you don’t even know.” This point is not something I didn’t know already, but it just phrased it in a way that made it easier to explain, I guess. When we had to choose whether or not to accept the placement with Carter and Gracey (which was a “maybe you’ll get to keep them” thing) or pass on the placement and wait for “Sonny and Cher” (which was a “for sure” thing). We knew we would likely be chosen for “sonny and cher” but in our hearts we knew we would accept Carter and Gracey’s placement. Our caseworker was floored by our decision, we didn’t understand it all ourselves, we just knew it was right. I believe God gave us, in that moment, His wisdom which allowed us to “make a decision based on something we did not know” – that Carter and Gracey were already chosen to be ours.
tags: Love for us, The Beginning 1 comment
Do WHAT?
Posted: February 2, 2006 at 11:25 pm
The book of Hosea tells an amazing story of obedience and of God’s unconditional love for us. It starts out with God telling Hosea to go and marry a prostitute. Yes, you read that correctly, God told Hosea to marry a prostitute. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. 
See for yourself: Hos 1:2
2 When the LORD first began speaking to Israel through Hosea, he said to him, “Go and marry a prostitute, so some of her children will be born to you from other men. This will illustrate the way my people have been untrue to me, openly committing adultery against the LORD by worshiping other gods.”
NLT
Can you even imagine what Hosea thought when God told him this? I have faith and it grows stronger all the time, but how much of my faith is dependent on my being able to understand WHY God wants me to do what He’s asking me to do? But wait….this is only the beginning of the story! It gets worse….or better, depending on your perspective.
He marries a prostitute named Gomer. She has three children and she leaves Hosea to return to her life of prostitution. Hosea was a real, in-the-flesh man; how would he have felt to see the wife he took in and loved go off and do this? After some time, God gives Hosea further instruction: Go and get your wife – you’ll have to buy her out of slavery to get her back.
Hos 3:1-3
Then the LORD said to me, “Go and get your wife again. Bring her back to you and love her, even though she loves adultery. For the LORD still loves Israel even though the people have turned to other gods, offering them choice gifts.”
2 So I bought her back for fifteen pieces of silver and about five bushels of barley and a measure of wine.Â
NLT
Notice that God didn’t just tell Hosea to get Gomer back - He told him to love her. Not an easy command to follow, I’m sure. But Hosea did so that God could demonstrate His great love for the Israelites and for us. Hosea is not just a great love story of a man who loved his wife unconditionally, even when she didn’t deserve it. It is also, in fact MORE SO, a story of a God who loves His children so unconditionally that He would be willing to buy them back even when they betrayed Him over and over and over again…..even if the the payment required His life.
The next time someone says, “God loves you,” remember Hosea.
God, help me to be obedient to You even when I don’t understand, even when it may not make sense, especially when I don’t understand and when it doesn’t make sense.Â
tags: Love for us, Obedience 1 comment
I wanna be like that
Posted: July 19, 2005 at 11:50 pm
We are putting a twin bed in the nursery – it is actually Daddy-O’s bed from when he was a kid. If you don’t believe me, we can prove it – he carved his name into the headboard when he was little or maybe he was a teenager..i don’t know. Anyway, we started sanding it down yesterday (don’t worry, we saved the carving) so we can stain it to match the baby bed.
Anyway, we were also planning to sand and stain an old dresser that we’ll use in the nursery. I went to Woodcraft this afternoon to see about getting a smaller sander to help with the “nooks and crannies” of the dresser. I walk in and the sweetest man asked if I need some help. I explained to him what we were trying to do and he told me that we should really strip the dresser instead of sanding it down – then he took me to the back and got a piece of stained wood and showed me how to do it. He had me convinced that it was the best way and then he said, “it’ll be a lot more expensive than sanding it down but…..” So I just smiled and said I guess I better stick with sanding.
He showed me some tools I could use to make it a little easier and told me that if I would bring in a drawer or something, he’d be able to help me more. He looked a little surprised to see me when Daddy-O and I walked in with the drawer at 6:53pm. Then again, since the store closes at 7, he was probably just thinking, “awww crap!” He took us to the back room again and showed us how to strip the front of the drawer and showed us how nice it would look. We decide that we’d sand the rest of it, but strip the drawers since they’d be hard to sand anyway and we’d save some money in the process.
Trust me, I have a point here. He says to us, “This is mine and I have plenty more at home…why don’t you just take this and you’ll be able to finish your project.” I was dumbfounded. This man was offering to GIVE us what we needed to strip the drawers. He even gave us the pot he used, with his brush and this other tool. The paint thinner or whatever it’s called is not cheap and he knew we were prepared to purchase it. He gave it to us. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t feel right taking this stuff he was offering us. It felt so wrong to accept his generous offer.
He insisted and we thanked him, walking out of the store a little in awe. What would prompt this man to extend such kindness and generousity to us for no reason? I still don’t get it. Maybe you’re thinking, “Cindy, it was just a little paint thinner….” but it wasn’t. It was all the tools we needed and the paint thinner. It was far above and beyond his job – in fact, we would have made a purchase had he not given everything to us. Tell me, how often do you go to a store to buy something and the salesperson gives you what you need instead?
I wonder how often I go to God intending to “buy” something. My way of “buying” might just be my own plans or just my own way of doing things. Instead of letting me “buy” what I think i want, God freely gives me more than I ever needed. God is so good. This man today displayed God’s goodness, whether he knew it or not. (yes, you can bet I’m going to tell him about it but I haven’t figured out how just yet) It’s been such a crazy mixed up week and this was a small reminder that spoke volumes to my heart. God is so good. He gives us what we need. I want to be the kind of person who leaves a lasting impression on people. A person who points people to Christ.
God gives us gifts, worth far more than a little paint thinner, for no reason. He gave us His most precious gift, His son – who died for you and for me…..for no reason other than that He loves us. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” NLT
And all we have to do is accept it.
Rom 3:21-24
But in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. 22 The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. 23 Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, 24 God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.(from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)
tags: Love for us 2 comments
Baptism
Posted: June 22, 2005 at 7:27 am
This is my nephew Wes. He was baptized last Sunday and we are SOOO proud of him. He spent a few days with us a few weeks back and we had a blast. He’s such a great kid and so much fun to be around! We love you, Wes!