What might have been
Tags: Adoption
Posted: September 2, 2009 at 3:40 am
Why is it that dropping off a child for the first time at preschool/MDO/school/etc… sucks? I HATED leaving Mathew at school today and it didn’t help that he cried when I dropped him off. Poor little guy was sooo tired – school starts about the time he normally takes his morning nap, which I’ve been trying to break him of. But my little guy needs his sleep. He only got to sleep for about 40 minutes and when I got there to get him he was dazed and confused.
Ugh. I know he’ll get used to it I just hope it happens fast. I don’t know how long I can keep dropping him off if he’s going to be so exhausted when I pick him up. He’s normally such a happy baby UNLESS he misses his sleep. I guess it runs in the family because I’m not such a happy camper on too little sleep, either. Shocking, I know. That I would EVER not be easy to be around. Shut up, family.
Before Mathew was born, Carter and Gracey would crawl into my lap every morning and we’d cuddle together watching cartoons for 30 minutes or so. We haven’t done that often since little Mathew was a newborn – just too demanding with his bottle and breakfast, etc… This morning ALL THREE of them sat cuddled in my lap for a bit and it was the best 10 minutes of my day.
I can’t help but wonder what their mornings would be like if they were with their biological parents. Every once in a while the realization of ‘what might have been’ slams into me like a Mack truck and I have to catch my breath and thank God again for keeping them safe and bringing them home. And just when I start to feel better I remember there are thousands of children who are living the ‘what might have been’ every day.
Right here in my own city I know there are thousands of kids being neglected and abused. Thousands of people who don’t have enough food to eat or clothes to wear. Children without families and even worse children with abusive families. And I hear on the news about my hard earned tax dollars being spent on a damn animal shelter and I’m outraged. Money that could go toward saving human lives is being spent on dogs and cats. I love animals, but seriously? What kind of message does this send to child living with ‘what might have been’?
tags: ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!, Adoption, Mathew, Parenting Add a comment
Changes Abound
Posted: July 11, 2008 at 2:33 pm
So not too much is going on with us lately. We have only been caring for an infant, redecorating two rooms, transitioning toddler to “big girl” room…..since we haven’t had much going on, we thought we’d throw in a little potty training, too.
Actually, Princedd has decided it is time. She peed on the potty four times yesterday and told me this morning she needed to go. It has totally been hee thing, I just put the potty in front of the tv and she decided to run around naked and pee.
FABULOUS!
tags: Parenting 3 comments
Table for FIVE
Posted: June 23, 2008 at 1:51 am
We brought Mathew to church this morning and then we all went out for lunch afterwards. It was uneventful for the most part. I enjoyed showing him off to friends and also enjoyed just being out as a family of five.
Carter and Gracey continue to adore baby Mathew and love to hold him, feed him and pet him. Yes, I did say “pet” him. They like to rub his head. Go figure. In fact, this morning SPeedy said, “mommy, he’s like a little puppy.” LOL I’m sure Mathew appreciates being called a little puppy. Here’s hoping Carter doesn’t decide to play veterinarian. 
Carter has music camp every morning this week and Gracey goes on Thursday and Friday. SO it looks like we’ll just hit the ground running this week. ha ha ha
So much more to say but I have to sleep when i can these days.
Thank you, Jesus.
tags: Carter, Gracey, Mathew, Parenting 2 comments
Puking Pineapples
Posted: June 8, 2008 at 4:58 am
We ate at Chili’s tonight and Carter and Gracey shared some pineapples. Carter wasn’t hungry and did not touch his cheeseburger, but he downed half a bowl of pineapples. Gracey ate most of a corn dog and the other half of the pineapples.
Pineapples and Dr. Pepper puke is not pretty. Corn dog puke is not pretty either.
Husbands who handle puke clean up are very pretty.
Sweet little girls who puke and then say, “dat’s yucky” are very cute.
Stepping in puke is not cute.
Little boys managing to grab the “can” and get most of the puke in it are wonderful.
Smelling pineapple puke…not so wonderful.
Praying puke fest 08 is over.
tags: Misc, Parenting 3 comments
Weekly Update and Random Thoughts
Tags: Adoption
Posted: April 15, 2008 at 4:39 am
I don’t seem to find/make the time to update very much anymore. I blog several times a week in my head, but fail to get my thoughts to my fingers. Which is really irritating since I do hope to someday write a book.
Whatever.
Hmmm… now I forgot what I wanted to say. Sigh.
The kids are amazing. Growing more and more independent every day which is FABULOUS for mommy and daddy. Sad, but fabulous. Daddyo and I are leaving for four nights and as the trip gets closer, we are seriously considering taking Carter with us. He’d have so much fun and we just know he would LOVE the alone time with mommy and daddy. I think it would be really good for him to spend that time with us. We haven’t decided yet for sure.
Then there’s the whole baby thing. Maybe yes. Maybe no. Who knows? I’m still walking the fence. I can see myself carting a newborn around with Carter and Gracey, though. I can see and I love it. I can also see things staying the way they are now and I love that, too. We are truly happy with whatever God gives to us.
I am a little irritated these days, though. I know. You’re just overwhelmed with surprise that this chick is irritated at anything. When you get over the shock of that, you’ll unerstand. Maybe. I know there are people who don’t think I can handle three kids. It’s not the words that come out of their mouths but more what they don’t say. More what their tone says or their eyes. And I want to slap them. Really, really slap them. Because one, DUH! Who knows what they can or can’t handle it until it’s in their lap. And two, because not handling it will not be an option if it happens, you just do it. and three, because if I can handle a excessively hyper 2 year old and a newborn preemie with minor issues, I can handle adding another baby to my clan. I’ve had two years with Carter and Gracey. Adding a third will not be harder than starting with two the way we did. And if it is harder, it can’t be too much harder.
So give me a break. Have some faith in me. I may not do things the way you would do them. I may not do things the way you think they should be done. But that doesn’t mean I do things the wrong way. I have my struggles, sure, just like the next person. But I face them head on instead of pretending they aren’t there. I admit I need help when I need it. And boy do I sometimes need it. But that’s okay. It’s part of who I am. Admitting I have challenges doesn’t make me weaker. It makes me stronger. I am strong. I am capable. And most of all, I have God’s Grace to stand on.
I joke about having three kids and about how much it will suck to start all over again. I laugh about the torture we may be putting ourselves through. But you want to know my deep, dark secret truth? I’m delighted. I’m thrilled. I really hope we get to do it all over again. I’m not at all worried about the logistics of three kids. I’m not worried about how I’ll survive each day. We will do more than survive. There is room in my heart for one more and part of me is afraid that room will become a hollow place if it isn’t filled.
His will. Not mine.
In other news, I learned this week that there was very recently a case here in our area where CPS placed a newborn into a family different from the one who had the siblings. CPS knew the other family wanted to adopt the baby, but chose deliberately to place the baby in a different home. Unless there are some serious extinuating circumstances, that is an outrage to me.
Please pray that God will put the right people in the right places at the right times so we can bring our baby home.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Phillipians 4:6
Father, please protect our littlest child and keep him/her safe. Make a way for him to come home to us and thank you for the beautiful gift of this child.
tags: Adoption, Gratitude, Parenting, Travels 9 comments
Poopy Tales…..take 34987
Posted: October 26, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Without jinxing myself too much, Carter is fully and completely potty trained and has been for some time now. He doesn’ even wear pull ups at night anymore. I honestly don’t remember the last accident we had.
We were playing out in the front yard earlier and he pulled his shirt up and started to assume the “potty position”. I said, “Carter, if you need to potty go inside to the bathroom”. It is not uncommon for him to pee behind the bushes when we’re outside playing. It worked when we were in training and, honestly, it’s just easier than all of us having to go inside now. So I didn’t push it when he said he was going behind the bushes. I looked away for a minute and then when I looked back he had a funny look on his face and his pants were around his ankles. (not normal for peeing, he’s gotten quite good and only pulling out the necessary equipment and not even unbuttoning his pants)
I said, “Carter, if you’re done, pull up your pants.” He said, (with eyes bulging a little) “I’m…..just…..going………ppp….ppoooooo”! “NOOOOO!, Carter, we poo in the potty, not outside.” To which he replies, “unless we’re at Uncle John’s farm”. ha ha ha So I watched in horror as he pooped, standing behind the bushes. There was no squatting involved. At the same time, the little dog we are sitting ran across the street and was barking at some boys and I was trying to coral her as well.
Carter somehow stepped in the poop and it also got on the back of his jeans (no squatting). Yuck. And let me just tell you, it STUNK! The story could end here, but what fun would that be?
We took off shoes and pants and went inside where he let me know he needed to go “finish”. I told him to stay on the potty until I got back there so I could clean his bottom. And here’s the really fun part. I told him to bend forward a little so I could wipe his butt – he bent over so far he had his hands on the floor. I had a great view. But hey, his butt is definitely clean now.
tags: Potty Training 1 comment
Yellow like the Sunshine
Posted: October 19, 2007 at 6:44 am
It’s 1:30am and I’m awake and typing at the computer. Something is very wrong with this picture – gone are the days when I can sleep until 10 in the morning so I have no business being awake at 1am. I’m justifying it with the knowledge that tomorrow around lunch time I’ll be heading out for the weekend and leaving the family at home.
That’s right, two nights and two days to myself. It’s the pre-deer season getaway. Funny thing is…..I kinda don’t want to go. I mean, what am I going to do for two days with no one to take care of? Although I don’t feel like I need it right now, I know it will be a long time before I have this opportunity again so I need to take it. Maybe I’ll catch up on some scrapbooking or something productive like that. Or maybe I’ll stay in my pajamas and watch movies all weekend. Either way, I’m going.
I met with a play therapist today and I really like him and feel really good about the approach he wants to take with Carter. Carter will meet with him next week and in preparation for that, we’ll tell Carter we talked to someone we want him to meet blah blah blah blah blah….anyway, just to kind of lay the groundwork for that, this is the conversation I had with Carter tonight:
Me: You know, baby, mommy and daddy have been a little worried about you. We know you’ve been having a tough time at school, huh?
Carter: Yeah. That’s why I just shouldn’t go to school anymore. Not ever anymore.
Me: It sounds like you have really made up your mind that you don’t want to go to school anymore.
Carter: Yeah. But I HAAALF to, huh?
Me: Well, I’ve had to go places I didn’t want to before but then I started liking it again. I think we can work on that and help you like school again.
Carter: I just don’t want….I don’t want any of the friends to be there.
Me: You want to go to school and be there by yourself with just you and your teachers?
Carter: YES! No friends there. Just ME!
Me: What would you do with just you and your teachers?
Carter: I would run all around the room and they would run with me.
Me: That would be fun!
Carter: And I would jump back and they would jump back.
Me: Would you still go to Library?
Carter: No! No friends there. Just me.
Me: Yes, just you. But would you and your teachers still go to library and read books?
Carter: YES!
Me: What about the playground? Would your teachers play with you or just watch you play?
Carter: They would just watch me play. I want all the playground to be yellow. Mom, will you paint it all yellow for me?
Me: (I’d paint the whole world yellow for you, if I could) If everything on the playground was yellow, it would look like sunshine.
Carter: Yeah! It would be yellow like the sun is yellow.
Me: I think we can work together to find a way for you to like school again.
Have I mentioned lately how much I love that kid?
tags: Carter, Parenting Add a comment
Still Here….with photos!
Posted: October 17, 2007 at 4:15 am
I have not fallen off the face of the earth.
I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the school and Carter stuff. It’s just that he had such a rough start in life, I hate to see him struggle with this as well. I am very glad I have him in preschool and we can begin to address it now, before it starts to affect him academically. But still. I just want him to happy and I want things to not be so hard for him. Though I must say he hardly seems to notice that anything is hard at all. 
On the other hand, I know how God uses these things to make us stronger. I know everything we face helps to shape who we become. And I know that God has a beautiful plan for Carter’s life. Do I really need to repeat it now or do you all know it by heart? Jeremiah 29:11…come on, who can leave it in the comments section WITHOUT looking it up? Anyone? Anyone?
DaddyO and I observed Carter in Sunday School and children’s church this weekend and today I observed him for quite a while in school. He did fantastic on Sunday, today…well, not so much. It was great for me to see him with the other kids and see what they were doing compared to what he is doing. I know all kids are different and I don’t mean “compare” so much as get a feel what the norm may be for kids his age. When ALL the other kids are staying in their centers and Carter lasts about 1.5 minutes in his, that tells me something. There were other things, too. He’s not malicious, he’s not mean, he’s just very enthusiastic about life and has a difficult time waiting his turn for the next best thing. (spoken like a true mom, eh?)
Tonight was “Dad’s night out” at the school and one of the other father’s came up to DaddyO and told him that when he asked his daughter what she was most looking forward to about this evening, she said, “Carter!” So I guess he has a fan. It really felt good to hear that because I left school today fearing that Carter would be one of those kids the other kids didn’t want to play with.
He’s just so darn cute. So here are pictures from this morning. It was finally cool enough for a long sleeve shirt (at least in the morning) so I thought I’d dress them in Halloween outfits. Gracey has another adorable Halloween outfit but it was dirty – she’s already worn it a few times since it is short sleeve. The shirt Gracey has on in the picture is the one Carter wore last year. She was not having a good morning – yes, world, she does cry.
Okay, so it’s time for some showing off. Here are the pics from before school this morning:
and photos from the Pumpkin Patch:
tags: Carter, Parenting, Photos 4 comments
I AM the King of the World.
Posted: October 4, 2007 at 3:38 am
You know, I hope I will always be a cool mom. I’m sure I’ll never be cool in my kids’ eyes (especially when they’re teenagers) but as long as I’m cool in my own eyes, that’s all that really matters. Right?
We made Halloween decorations today – painted brown paper lunch sacks and transformed them into pumpkins. Painted coffee filters and made pumpkins. But best of all, we painted some bats I printed from the internet and now they are flying around my den. I tied one to each of the four blades on our ceiling fan (with fishing line) and taped a dime to each one to give it some weight. The kids went nuts when they saw them flying around the room. Gracey calls them “tweet tweets” (her name for birds).
I love that Carter thinks I’m his best friend right now. I know he will grow out of that one day – probably much sooner than I’d like – but I love that when I asked him tonight to name a friend he likes to play with, he pointed to me. I love that when someone at my mom’s office asked him his name and he replied “sharkboy” – then she said she was “lavagirl” and he said, “no, my mommy’s lavagirl”. On vacation, when we were in the pool and he’d float a little away from me, he’d yell “come back! come back! You’re my best friend!”
I guess at some point if your son still thinks of you as his best friend it becomes a little creepy, but for now it makes me feel like the king of the world.
In other news, I’m writing a book. Before you get all excited and start searching Amazon for my name as the author, you should know only one copy will be printed. There is a book called “How I was Adopted” that I really like and it tells the story of how a girl named Samantha was adopted. Carter loves to read it and throughout it asks questions about his adoption that he can now readily answer. It’s simple and straightforward and I’m going to create one for him with is own pictures in it and change the words up a little to fit our story more. I’ll make one for Gracey, too.
I started a photo album / story book a long time ago but I was never really happy with it. I think I tried to give too much detail and this time around I’ll focus on keeping it much simpler.
tags: Carter, Parenting 3 comments
Drip Drip Drip
Posted: September 26, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Is anything more annoying that the constant drip drip drip of a leaky faucet? Okay, so maybe there are lots of things that are more annoying than that, but lately this one is really bothering me. The faucet in our bathroom has a little leak and daddyo hasn’t had time to fix it yet.
Of course, my thought is if you’re going to take it all apart to fix it anyway, we may as well look into some new faucets, right? Like aMoen faucet with some super cool features. And as long as we’re looking at new faucets, we may as well get the new tub you promised me when bought the house, SIX YEARS AGO. So maybe that isn’t exactly what you promised, but you did promise to upgrade the bathroom to at least a jacuzzi tub.
Boy, I sure could have used a big jacuzzi tub last night. Calgon, take me away. The kids and I were playing in the front yard yesterday when my neighbor came over for a little visit. As I was telling her about my day, she told me she had plenty of wine at her house and I was welcome to come over and help myself. I told her I may take her up on that after I got the kids in bed. Daddyo came home when I was bathing the kids and I could hear him laughing and talking to someone so I assumed he was on the phone. He came into the bathroom and told me that our neighbor had brought over some wine. I laughed and said, “she must really be feeling sorry for me after our conversation. I guess she could tell I wasn’t feeling so great.” I said this thinking she had brought over a glass of wine. Much to my surprise, she had brought over THREE BOTTLES of wine. Guess I was worse off than I thought.
So I got to enjoy a nice glass of wine while I took my bath in my old bathtub with a drippy faucet. Maybe two glasses. It was nice, but it would have been even nicer with a new Moen faucet. Perhaps you are wondering what was so bad about my day? Rather than tell you, I think it will be more fun for you to guess. See if you can complete the paragraph below:
When I picked Carter up from school, his teacher said, “can you stick around for a few minutes?” OH CRAP. This can not be good. So I waited until she could talk with me and she explained that Carter had……….
So what do you think Carter did at school? LauraP, you can’t play this one since you already know. But how about the rest of you? We’ve been seriously lacking in the comments department lately, so take your best shot.