There are so many scriptures addressing prayer in the Bible… how to pray, how often to pray, etc… We are told to pray continually. For me, that usually ends up like this, “Oooh! Sorry about that… Yikes, there I go again, please forgive that….Oh Geez. I did it again, God.” 
God wants to know us. I mean, He does know us but He wants to know us through us. Wow. Did you follow that? He wants us to talk to Him. To tell Him how we are feeling and what we are thinking…He wants us to communicate with Him…to be in relationship with Him. That involves more than “please bless….. please heal….please help….please forgive….” It involves an ongoing dialogue that is precious and often rare.
Nathan got int he car today and wanted to tell me all kinds of things about what happened in school - he stayed on Green all day, he made a whale, he heard a story, he played with Aiden, etc.. etc…etc… And as I’m listening to him and hanging on EVERY word, it’s as if God Himself spoke directly to my heart. “That’s what I want from you.” And do you know that He would hang on every word we say? He waits and hopes for us to share our lives with Him. The good, the bad and most importantly, the every day. He longs to hear what we’re thinking. Just like I long to hear anything Nathan is willing to tell me about his day at school. Or what he thinks about bugs. Or planes. Or what scares him. What makes him happy. You get the idea.
I don’t get tired of hearing him when he is really talking. Now, the incessant chatter about poo I could do without. I wonder how my life would be different if I were to really live in that relationship. If I went to God as often as I go to a friend to talk over a situation. I wonder what kind of friend I would be. What kind of mother I would be.
On a completely different note…
Isaac is five months old tomorrow. I just don’t know how it happened. We are so busy but so incredibly happy. He was meant to be ours from the beginning and God all but sent a burning bush to tell us about it. He meant for Isaac to be ours all along. Our hands are busy and our hearts are full. I can not imagine life without him.
There were people along the way would ask crazy questions. Are you sure you want another baby? Wow, three is a lot to handle, do you think you can do it?…. I mean, what the heck? If I had been pregnant, no one would have expressed those concerns…at least not in that way. (or maybe they would have…) As if bringing our son home was a choice. You may not understand that unless you’ve been there. Bringing Isaac home wasn’t something to contemplate…it wasn’t something to decide on….it was welcoming our son into this world and into our family.
Every biological mother I have ever talked to had the “Oh my, what have we done” moment. Either in the last months of pregnancy, in labor or even just after the fact. And I had that, too, with Isaac. The day he was born I was ecstatic and scared. Scared of not being able to bring him home and scared of bringing him home! But mostly, I was anxious to hold my son. I never doubted whether I could handle it or if it was right for us, and right for him.
I couldn’t understand how anyone could even question it. I still don’t understand that part of it. It’s not like people would come right out and say, “I don’t think you should do this.” But I knew some felt that way. And it’s a hard thing to forget.
